The truth is this: I really, really, really don’t use much of what I learned in high school.  In fact, I don’t remember much of what I learned in high school.  Being an anti-social and frizzy-haired loser, I had ample time to pour over books and assignments, and I got really, really, really good marks.  Annnnnnnnd it was all for balls.

Point and case – I got 100% in Grade 12 Algebra.  Not to be vain, but there it is.  Today, while I was preparing to write this blog, I actually searched Algebra in Wikipedia because I totally even forget what kind of math algebra is.  Yes.  That is how much I use it now.  So I thought I would provide some insight into how I use my high school education in my everyday life.

Biology
So, here is the one thing I remember from Biology class.  Your body can burn calories by melting an ice cube in your mouth!  Energy is required to melt ice, and it’s usually measured in Kj (kilojoules, baby!).  KILOJOULES can be converted to calories, sucka!  However, I think my teacher said that to burn 100 calories (about 1/3 of a chocolate bar), you need to melt like a litre of ice in your mouth.  So, it’s not really that practical.  But STILL.  Super-useful information!

Physics
All I remember from Physics is that I was one of the only girls who was in Physics class and all the boys had half-chubbies while doing Physics experiments out in the main forum because I think it made them feel smarter and more powerful than everyone.   ME MAN.  ME THROW BALL AND MEASURE VELOCITY.  NOW CRUSH BEER CAN ON HEAD.

Chemistry
The chemistry teacher HATED me because I openly bitched about how BORING chemistry is to his face, and yet I still got good marks.  AND he had really, really bad facial hair.  He totally was Billy Mays’ twin:

Gym:
All I remember from gym is that, for some reason, Rhythmic Gymnastics seemed to take up like 12 weeks of the year.  Not that I’m complaining, I totally heart the ribbon.  I was awesome at the ribbon.

Music:
RELEASE THE SPIT VALVE.  And, I also remember the first day of Grade 9 music.  The music teacher (who also looked like Billy Mays, by the way), played us this song (see below).  It has looped in my brain like a soundtrack to my life ever since.

Art:
Well, I clearly gained a lot of value from art class.

Math (Algebra, Calculus, etc.):
This is the math I use on a daily basis…

Amount needed to cover rent and bills = x
Amount needed to purchase that item of clothing I really, really want = y
Amount that I’m getting paid this month = x
Amount of suckage that produces = (x)(y)

English
I’m an English nerd.  I loved English.  Loved. It. English was the the best class ever and it made me a totally awesome person.  And I met my long-time serious boyfriend, Fitzwilliam Darcy.

French
La grenouille mange le pamplemousse.

Drama
I also loved drama.  Sigh.  Why aren’t I still doing drama?

Free Period
I learned how to gaze at boys secretly while pretending to study for chemistry.  Surprisingly, I think this “lurking” skill is probably the one skill that I actually use on a day to day basis… not that I’m creepy… or lurk-y… ummmmmmmm… yeah.  I lurk.