Preface: WHO LIKES PICTURES?  Your response better have been “ME ME ME OH GOD JESUS ME” because I went a little nuts with my DSLR and took about 75 jillion pictures over this weekend.  In my mind, I was all like “I am doing the Bride a favour because she will have this wonderful “DSLR-quality” record of EVERY SINGLE DETAIL of her wedding weekend”, but in reality I just like to pretend I’m a photographer because it makes me feel like a big man.  Enjoy!

I went up/down/whatever to Picton this weekend to celebrate the wedding of one of my favourite people.  Amanda and her now hubby travelled to England on a whim a few years ago with no place to live, no job, and no real prospects and then everything worked out amazingly because they are spontaneous and awesome and way more adventurous than I.

A few years later they are thriving and lovin’ life in Europe while I ROT HERE IN DAMN CANADA.  Just kidding.  I love Canada.  But I am sad that I have literally only lived within a 3 hour-drive radius of my birthing hospital for my whole life.  Seems like a sad state of affairs compared to my worldly and adventurous friend.  But enough about me.

Since Amanda and Tyler are SMART and AWESOME and LOVELY, they were able to plan their whole wedding while overseas drinking in English Pubs and shopping at The Kooples.

It turned out amazing.

Day one they invited all the guests to a wine-tasting in Picton.  Little-known-fact that Picton, just outside of Kingston, has a pretty sweet-ass wine region complete with wine to go in my mouth-hole.  I booked a room at some resort-cum-cottage-cum-B-and-B place called The Waring House, which is just outside of “downtown” Picton.  Very picturesque, in a “Southern Ontario Backwoods Slash Farmlands” kind of way… but maybe they should replace their stained carpets and clean their stinky bathroom drain.  (…is that bitchy?)

Here is some corn:

Here I am in said corn:

Since there was about 3 hours before check-in time, the Receptionist recommended a walk behind the resort through the old railroad tracks.  Corn on one side, forest and stuff on the other side… AND BUGS EVERYWHERE.  Tank top was not a good idea.  Full-body mosquito netting with full-body rolling plastic ball protection would have been a good idea.  Here is an artist’s rendition:

Anyhoo, after seeing the country, it was time to head over to the first winery – called “Sandbanks Winery” after “Sandbanks Park” which is named after the “sandbanks” in the park.  Which are named because they are like “banks” of “sand”.

As previously mentioned, I took a lot of photos.  Click on the thumbnail if you want to see it all big-like.

  
   
  

Next stop was Karlo Estates.  Seriously, this place was gorgeous.  Like, I busted my nut over and over and over.  Also, the wine was really good, AND they gave us cheese and nuts and sausages and other delicious things to eat while we tasted the wine.  The chick who was doing the tasting was a *bit* (read: FUCKING VERY) long-winded… and I was all sitting there being like “SHUT THE F UP I JUST WANT TO DRINK THE DAMN WINE.”

Anyways, other than that, I LOVED Karlo Estates. Through this tasting I also discovered that, when you are not 17 and trying to get drunk off your parents’ old-person liquor, Port can be delicious.

HERE ARE A MILLION PICTURES.

  
  

  
  

  
  
  

Karlo Estates also had this mortar-less bridge that is basically held up with no mortar, hence the name “mortar-less bridge”.  It allowed people to pose on something while drunk (see below).

  

Anyhoo, I was pretty drunk at this point, but the trip wasn’t over yet… we swung over to Huff Winery to drink copious amounts of sparkling wine as the sun set.  BEST EVER.

  
  

  

End scene.

Tomorrow I’ll take you through the actual wedding which was TOTALLY BEAUTIFUL.  Seriously.  You should check back.