Molly hates thunder.  She doesn’t freak out and get excited, but every time it starts to rain she just gets really quiet and sad and wants to come REALLY CLOSE TO MY FACE for some reason.  In the photo above, she is trying to keep her face one inch away from mine at all times.

Alternatively, she likes to be perched on my shoulder like a deformed smush-faced parrot and sit there with her ears back.  Despite being slightly annoyed that I literally could do nothing the whole time that the thunder was banging (due to my dog-shaped shoulder-growth), I was pretty much GUSHING with motherly happiness because I like to think that being close to her mommy makes her feel comfortable and safe.  I AM SO GOOD AT BEING A MOM (to small dogs when they are extremely scared and need human contact from anyone who is close to them).

Just thought I’d mention this because it makes me so happy that I almost plottzed: I HAVE HYDRANGEAS in my garden.  They just POPPED THE FUCK OUT OF NOWHERE and are all blooming in my face.  They are one of my absolute favourite flowers. and like, every time you go somewhere fancy they’re all like “HYDRANGEAS, HYDRANGEAS EVERYWHERE FOR FANCY PEOPLE!”  Unless you are Madonna.

In other news, a good friend from University is getting married this weekend and I’m totally looking forward to it because, in addition to the pure, innocent exchange of virginal nuptials, I have it under good authority that there will be copious amounts of wine and cheese entering my mouth-hole all weekend.  What else could a girl want?

We went out last weekend for her Bachelorette party.  To Crocodile Rock.  If you have not heard/been of/to Crocodile Rock… well… then… you still have a small piece of your innocence intact.  Good for you. 

Basically, if you are a:

1. Cougar;
2. Cougar-Fetishist;
3. 19-year old; or
4. 17-year old with a 19-year old’s ID

Then this is the place to be. 

It wasn’t as bad as it could have been because the people I was with were awesome and I decided to wear orangey-red lipstick which makes me happy.  However, in hindsight it makes me look like a craggly old potato-faced witch… so I’m either going to have to re-think this whole lipstick thing, or I’m going to have to come to terms with the face that when I wear lipstick I will only be approached by blind ugly men. 

Here Nicole says “I have two beers, and do a pouty face.”

Here Nicole says “I have two beers and I do a sexy “both beers in my mouth at the same time” face.”

Oh Nicole, you so crazy.

In order to overcome the shock of being at Crocodile Rock, as well as the realization that I looked like a drowned rat with orangey-red lips, I decided to go to the bar by myself and have three whiskey shots.  Which rapidly pulled the evening into a downward spiral, culminating in the following:

Just so you can appreciate what I mean when I say I can eat A LOT… let me tell you what I purchased and consumed from McDonald’s:

• Quarter Pounder
• Supersized Fries
• 10 Nuggets
• An additional Quarter Pounder
• An additional “medium” fries
• Filet-o-fish

Yes.  I ate it all.  I ATE IT ALL!!!!!!!!!!  TREMBLE AT MY FEET, YOU WEAK ‘SINGLE COMBO’ EATERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I SHALL SOON CRUSH YOU ALL WITH MY HUGE FRENCH-FRY FED THIGHS!