** NB: Depending on your work, this might be NSFW… if your work is “inflatable-dong-adverse”.

Lots of big birthdays have been coming up for friends and one was hosted at my place a couple of weekends ago… I just got around to uploading the pics yesterday, so I thought I would tell the tale of The Surprise Dong Birthday.

So Brad was turning 30, and his wife (and me) thought it would be fun for him (and me) to hold a “Dirty Thirty” surprise party.  This involved trips to the Stag Shop and Dollarstore for a collection of dong-related paraphernalia to use as both decor and “costuming” for when people would be drunk enough to let their hair down.  Can I just say that I am blown away with the amount of dong-related items that are available for purchase?  Dongs have a huge foothold in the “nude-body-parts-made-into-hilarious-decorations” market.

So first, we all waited secretly in my kitchen getting drunk on my bourbon lemonade.  I was a bit of a crazy maniac and kept “shussh-ing” people incessantly.  Surprise parties stress me out.

Then Brad came in and was actually… surprisingly… surprised.

Here is his party shirt:

 We got him an ice cream cake, which he apparently doesn’t like.

Things were tame for a little while…

Then people got more comfortable with each other. 

In the end, we basically threw a bachelorette party for Brad.  HOWEVER, it was soon revealed that guys are more than happy to play with inflatable dongs all night.  In fact, I believe the dong-related shenanigans were exclusive to the men.

FYI – as a planning tool for your next dong-related event… I had the foresight to hang a whole bunch of inflatable dongs at face-level to get the party going.  It was an effective means of loosening people up.  They also resulted in hilarious photos where the aperture would only catch the glowing dong in focus in the foreground.  I also used “fore” twice in that sentence without making a foreskin joke.

I also spent some time buying costumes and props to set up a “photo wall” where people could get all drunk and dressed up and take photos with dong-headpieces and what not.  Unfortunately for you, only a couple of people participated.

Fortunately for you, one of them was Amanda.