I often wonder where all my money goes.  

You would think it should go to adult things like dishwasher soap and GICs and shower curtain liners. 

Yeah.  It probably should.

Frye Braided Campus Boots

Rationale to Buy: They don’t make these fuckers any more.  Well, I mean, they make them, but not in this colour, and the braid is really rare.  Also, it’s hard to find my size in vintage Fryes.  Also, the heel is the perfect “adds height but in a super laid-back way” height, and the colour is the perfect “rusty cognac” colour that everyone wants in a brown leather boot.  Also, they’re already all dusty and broken-in.

Rationale to be a Responsible Adult: Do I already own two pairs of Fryes?  Maybe.  Do I already own four pairs of brown knee-high boots?  Maybe.  Should you shut up?  Probably.

Vintage Leather Jacket with Weird Native Mystical Patch

Rationale to Buy:  So, spring is coming, which is perfect “light leather jacket” weather, and you CLEARLY have to have a light-coloured jacket choice in the spring, in case you are wearing something, you know, lighter.  PLUS, I mean, COME ON.  The patch is worth the price of the jacket alone, because it’s so versatile!  I mean, I could theoretically take the patch off this jacket and put it on another jacket.  It’s like two jackets in one.

Rationale to be a Responsible Adult:  It’s possible that I have several leather jackets already.  It’s possible that the prices of those leather jackets have varied from “a steal” to “the price of a small used car”, so compounded, the jackets are probably worth more than I have in my retirement savings plan.  It’s possible that one human being only has so many occasions to wear a leather jacket with a bad-ass fucking weird patch on the back. 

Leather Flats with Embossed Fleur-de-Lys

Rationale to Buy:  Spring is coming and you NEED to have flats to wear when you are walking around the city, going to flower shops and meeting your friends for brunches on patios.  And although you have lots of flats, none of them are that dressy, so say, if you were wearing something a little fancier, you would look stupid with your existing shoe options.  PLUS they are so totally French-looking and when you wear them, you’ll look like Leslie Caron in An American in Paris.

Rationale to be a Responsible Adult: I have three pairs of brown leather oxfords which are essentially the same shoe but with laces.

5-Inch Leopard Print Platform Heels

Rationale to Buy:  They are 75% off.  And I look like an un-gross version of Kim Kardashian in them.  Additionally, I don’t know if you’ve heard, but leopard print is now a neutral that supposedly goes with everything, so I can wear them with SO MUCH STUFF.  Finally, They add five inches to my height, making my frame appear lankier, so my croissant-weight appears more evenly dispersed on my limbs.  IT’S SCIENCE.

Rationale to be a Responsible Adult:  Seeing how I’m not a prostitute or celebrity, WHERE THE FUCK WILL I WEAR THESE?