Couple-a new items for the house. Since my housewarming and holiday parties, I’ve started to loose a little steam. I mean I’m checking craigslist like, once a day instead of 58 times a day. But I still had the opportunity to pick up some sweet pieces last week.
First, I became totally and completely obsessed with purchasing a cow skull to mount in my loft. I mean, the decor it’s pretty western-y… I guess… but it lacked the full-on “crazy-person-accessory” to westernize it beyond all recognition.
Let me preamble this by mentioning that you can’t get a cow skull in a retail store in Toronto for less than like, $300.00. That equals bullshit, so I set a goal to buy a cowskull using my super developed search and negotiating skills like a bad-ass mutherfucka.
So first, I look on craigslist, of course, and I find some guy out in Etobicoke who is selling his cow skull for like $150.00. So I email him, fully planning to offer him around $100.00 or $120.00. Then he comes back to me and says there is a bidding war on his damn cowskull and the new asking price is $350.00. So I email him back and say “suck my choda” and decide to look elsewhere.
As mentioned on several previous occasions, I have been blessed the super-human ability to exploit the internet, and after days of scouring, I found a huge 3 foot cow skull for $50.00 from Texas. Shipping was $30.00. So that baby was $80.00 inclusive. Plus it was expertly modeled by a midriff-baring woman wearing a steer-wranglin’ hat. I mean, how could I say no to that??
You would think that a real cow skull with bones and DNA and possible bugs living in its eye-socket-holes and shit would have problems crossing the border, because when I order fucking pants from J Crew it takes the border officials 10 days to mull over whether or not I’m a terrorist. You know – a terrorist ordering poo-green pants from J Crew.
But no. The COW SKULL crossed the border in record time, and I had it in my paws within about 5 days of payment.
I was concerned that it was a fake because I got such a good deal. But hellz no. This bad boy is a real skull from a real cow, all bleached in the sun for weeks and weeks.
Only catch was that the horns were removed for shipping. I had to re-screw them and wrap the rope around them myself. But since I’m bad-ass hardcore, I screwed that shit in like an expert.
Yes. Now I am a fully crazy person with multiple skulls adorning her living room. SKULLS SKULLS EVERYWHERE!!!
In addition to the crazy-person skull, I also managed to score this fantastic mid-century space-man chrome ball-light at the Public Butter:
Now crazy-ball space lamps from the 60s/70s are in surprisingly high demand, and I have been looking for one on and off for a little while. It’s hard to find one for less than a few hundred bones, so when I saw this down the street I got excited.
But not so excited when I saw the price tag:
I mean, fine. I was originally $350.00… and now it’s $175.00… but:
- $175.00 is still way too much for me to buy an un-needed lamp on a whim; and
- I’m pretty sure that when Public Butter has their 50% off sale, they just mark everything up, so I don’t think I was getting a huge deal.
Now, I have my ways when negotiating. (And no. It does not involve sexual favours, you pervert. Besides, any sexual favours I could provide would likely not amount to much value. Due to my extreme awkwardness. And now things are even more awkward because I said that… damn)
So I decided to be my wiley self and try and see if I could negotiate that bad boy down a few bucks. We tried out the lamp in a socket… and lo and behold, two of the sockets were defective and needed to be replaced. I hemmed and hawwed and hemmed and hawwed and pushed.
AND I GOT THE LAMP FOR $50.00. So hardcore.
Look at her, all spacey and chromey. She’s going to artify one of my rooms all up like crazy. Now I just have to figure out how to re-wire light sockets and I’ll be golden. Or chrome. As it were.