Meaty Adventures Part One
Saturday was pig-roast day! My friends hold this gigantic pig-roast once a year at their huge property in Campbellville, invite a whole bunch of people, and give us food, drink, and shelter for the entire afternoon and night. It’s a shit show.
Drove up and parked under an apple tree. Here is an apple:
We spent some time walking around, taking in the sights and sounds of the calm, tranquil country landscape…
…and started to drink. Now, I’m trying really hard to not be a fat lard-ass lately, and I’ve come to the realization that drinking 12 beers to myself (as I often do on the weekend) is probably not positively contributing to the “non-lard-ass” cause. So I’ve been trying to get back into vodka sodas lately. Which is what I started drinking.
Just… keep note of that for later.
Anyways. It was a gorgeous, gorgeous day.
Usually I’m a “sit back and drink” kind of girl instead of a “playing games and being active” kind of girl, but the lure of cornhole was just too strong to resist. Mostly because it gives you the opportunity to say “cornhole” in a sentence over and over and over. Such as:
“Yeah, you love the cornhole”
“He’s been practicing cornholeing all winter”
“I bet you are an avid cornholer”
“Your backyard is perfect for cornholein””
… and so on.
It was during this intense cornholeing that I realized I was starting to get really, really drunk. Now, if you’ve ever been drinking with me before, you know that I can really, really throw back my beer. Fast. I am used to this pace of alcohol consumption.
Important Note: when you are drinking vodka sodas, you need to pace yourself much much much more than when you are drinking beer. I think that my level of intoxication was directly proportional to the number of pictures of my legs.
Oh look! It’s my legs!
This led to a photo series I like to call:
“Pictures of Me, Drunk on Vodka Sodas”
At this point, I realized I was much too drunk to be seen in public. So I secretly walked over to my car, got in, and took a nap for about an hour without telling anyone.
Here is a picture of my legs in the car:
I got up just in time for food!
Do you think I took enough? There might be a touch more room on the right there, next to the fork…
That morroccan chickpea salad was the best. I’m pretty sure I spent the next hour talking about it. Everyone got annoyed.
Sunset. Fire. ‘Smores.