1. When you do anything, the first thing you think of is:
a) Yourself
b) Yourself
c) The effect your decisions have on those around you
d) Yourself

Answer Key: If your answer isn’t c), you SUCK

2. If you have something difficult to say to someone, you:
a) Avoid them at all costs with the hope that “it will pass” and you will never have to deal with it ever
b) Tell them that whatever it is is their fault and that they should be ashamed of themselves
c) Be normal and confront things honestly like a normal person in a normal way like a normal person would do
d) Bring up something that happened years ago and scream about it to their face in an effort to mask the difficult issue that you have to confront

Answer Key: If your answer isn’t c), you SUCK

3. When you see my adorable, passive dog in the elevator, you
a) Shy away from her like she is a Tyrannosaurus Rex with bloody teeth instead of a ten pound dog who wants to kiss you
b) Say hello to her

Answer Key: If your answer isn’t b), you SUCK

4. Your favorite movie is:
a) The Transporter
b) The Transporter 2
c) Crank
d) 2 Fast 2 Furious
e) None of the above

Answer Key: If your answer isn’t e), you SUCK

5. If you tell someone that you will call them tomorrow, you:
a) Don’t call them
b) Message them on facebook chat then go offline immediately so that they can’t respond
c) Call them when you know that they are at work or busy then leave a message and turn your phone off for the rest of the night
d) Call them

Answer Key: If your answer isn’t d), you SUCK

6. When your face is in its “natural state” it looks like:
a) Stank face
b) You are judging everyone around you
c) You smell poo
d) A faint smile as if you are happy with your life and those around you

Answer Key: If your answer isn’t d), you SUCK

7. When you go to a bar, you hit on:
a) The blond girl with the nice tits and the stank face
b) The brunette girl with the nice tits and the stank face
c) The redhead with the nice tits and the stank face
d) The girl in the corner who is nice and funny and isn’t a huge attention-whore

Answer Key: If your answer isn’t d), you SUCK

8. Your favourite subject of discussion is:
a) The amount of money you make at work
b) The cost of your leather shoes from Italy
c) The cost of the dinner that you just ate at Splendido
d) Life, love, art, philosophy, humour, your flaws, your family, and world issues

Answer Key: If your answer isn’t d), you SUCK

9. When you get the bill at a restaurant, you:
a) Tip the server 50 cents
b) Complain about the food and tell the server you a disgusted with them and demand to see the manager
c) Tip the server a generous amount with the knowledge that tips are their livelihood and they are paid below minimum wage to essentially be your servant for 2 hours
d) Leave them 10 dollars worth of dimes, nickels and pennies

Answer Key: If your answer isn’t c), you SUCK

10. When your friend is going through a tough time, you:
a) Make new friends to avoid them
b) Complain about how YOUR life is so TOUGH and THEY should be helping YOU
c) Listen to them and help them through it
d) Get really drunk at the bar and start taking your top off so that your friend has to put all of her troubles aside to make sure some random guy doesn’t rape you

Answer Key: If your answer isn’t c), you SUCK

11. When you are at a bar with your friends, you:
a) Expect men to buy you drinks all night
b) Flirt with the bartender so that he will give you free drinks
c) Wear a short skirt and a low shirt so that guys will buy you drinks all night
d) Buy your own fucking drinks like an independent person who has her own money

Answer Key: If your answer isn’t d), you SUCK

12. If you know a girl likes you, you:
a) Avoid her
b) Spread rumours about her
c) Are honest and up front about your feelings for her
d) Make fun of her behind her back

Answer Key: If your answer isn’t c), you SUCK

13. When you have a problem, you:
a) Whine and expect someone else to solve it for you
b) Make it your facebook status to get a lot of attention
c) Discreetly handle it with some help from your close friends
d) Groan that God has made you a victim and you always have problems and you are so hard-done-by over, and over, and over again

Answer Key: If your answer isn’t c), you SUCK

14. Honestly… this is the best test… when you do anything, the first thing you think of is:
a) Yourself
b) Yourself
c) The effect your decisions have on those around you
d) Yourself

Answer Key: If your answer isn’t c), you SUCK