Lately, as I’ve mentioned several times, I have a big-ass boner for The Bay on Queen Street. All the other Bays suck, but The Bay on Queen Street is Natalie’s current mecca of all things fashion.
IN ADDITION, I get their email promotions, and for the holidays, they’re doing this “One Day Sale” thing, where there is one super-awesome thing on super sale for one day only. On Wednesday, I got the “One Day Sale” email below, and it was like a flash of lightning pierced itself into the endorphin release centre of my brain:
Sooooooo, I like baking, but I’ve never really felt like I had a reason to spend $500.00 on a Kitchenaid Mixer, but I’ve always wanted one in poo-green (which is my favorite colour). So, when I got this email, I peed a little bit from excitement. FORTUNATELY, I work adjacent to The Bay, so at 10:01 am, I booted over to the kitchen section like a woman possessed. This is what happened when I got there and stumbled upon a young, good looking and unsuspecting male salesperson (please note that this is actually what was said…):
Me (breathless, hair askew):Do you have those mixey things that are on sale????
Good Looking Unsuspecting Male Salesperson:The Kitchenaid Mixers? Yes, definitely. Do you have any questions about it?
Me: What? Questions? No. I mean, I want one?
Good Looking Unsuspecting Male Salesperson: Great! What colour?
Good Looking Unsuspecting Male Salesperson: (silence)
Me: You know… like baby-poo green!
Good Looking Unsuspecting Male Salesperson:Maybe I’ll take out my Kitchenaid colour wheel.
Me:It’s… like, the green one, but the one that is like all off-green and farty.
Good Looking Unsuspecting Male Salesperson: (flipping through the colour wheel) I’m going to guess you mean “Pear”
Me: Yes! Pear! You have?
Good Looking Unsuspecting Male Salesperson: You know what? I happen to know that we have ONE LEFT in Pear.
Me: OH my god! (slaps him on the shoulder inappropriately, and maybe a littttle too hard. He uncomfortably walks over to the table of mixers.)
Good Looking Unsuspecting Male Salesperson: Here it is!
Me: Oh my god you are awesome. I’m in poo-green ecstasy! (yes. this was actually said.)
Good Looking Unsuspecting Male Salesperson: (shuffles off to escape my weirdness)
Anyhoo, I bought that sucker and brought her home last night. She’s beautiful.
I’m going to bake a whole ballsack-load of cookies this weekend and bring them over to my friend Aidan’s place. She’s been busy lately, you know… being in labour and shit. She deserves cookies.