Tier One:  Coffee Time
Audience:13-Year Olds who are too young to get into the local rave.
Item of Choice: Black gasoline coffee with 17 sugars
Prime Time: 7pm to Curfew (usually 9:45 pm)

Tier Two:  Country Style
Audience: Creepy men who sit on the Country Style Patio for hours on end ogling the Queen West hipster girls
Item of Choice: 3-day old salami sandwich loosely wrapped in saran wrap
Prime Time: ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT

Tier Three:Tim Horton’s
Audience: Your Mom
Item of Choice: Medium Double-Double and those Chocolate Chip Muffins with the big sugar granules on top
Prime Time: Early Morning and “after Mummy and Me Yoga Classes”

Tier Four: Starbucks
Audience: Yuppies with frosted tips
Item of Choice: Grande Five-Pump Sugar-Free-Vanilla, Non-Fat, Extra Foam Americano Misto
Prime Time: Before the Really Important Sales Meeting

Tier Five: Independant Toronto Coffee Shops
Audience:People who are too cool for other coffee shops. Plus they wear vintage clothes that are re-sold at 400% retail value in a boutique on Ossington.
Item of Choice: Organic Saffron Gluten-Free Scone with locally-sourced bone marrow glaze  AND a coffee made with a one-of-a-kind french press that is only manufactured in the bowels of the underground North Korean anti-communist movement.
Prime Time: 11:30 am – 2:00 pm (i.e. when artists, musicians, and bartenders wake up)