June, 2013

DIY Dream Catcher


I have this weird space in my bedroom between the door to my outdoor balcony and a column that I have been meaning to fill with something – originally I had two hanging plants there, but since I have a fundamental lack of motherliness, they both died within a week and have been sitting against the wall, dried up and dead for over a year, like plant-skeletons mocking my matronly ineptitude.

I thought that the space was perfect for a large-sized, uber-hipstery dream catcher, and since I refuse to pay money for anything that I can reasonably make myself, I set some time aside to throw one together this weekend.

It’s surprisingly easy – I looked at the quick figure below for about 30 seconds then got to bisznas.


The first thing you need is a big ring.  I wanted a really big dream catcher and it’s actually pretty hard to find purpose-made “dream catcher rings” in large sizes, so I improvised and used a big embroidery hoop.  In retrospect, it’s a little too flat along the edge, but I don’t f-ing care that much.  What am I, the Queen of England?  Pffffffft.

Then you wrap the ring in leather or “faux ultra suede” like me.  IMPORTANT NOTE: you need much more leather than you think you do.  Much more.  Err on the side of caution and buy A LOT.

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This part of the dream catcher is the most annoying and boring, so it helps if you’re drunk.  I recommend a big, frosty craft beer.  It helps the “faux-ultra-suede” wrapping part go by quicker.


Alright, wrap the whole hoop then tie the ends tightly.  You can see in the photo below that I have TWO ends on each side of the hoop.  That’s because I underestimated how much leather I needed, used it all and only got half-way, then had to go back to the store and buy more to finish the other half.  If you are a normal person, you will only have one end.

Anyways, as per the figure up at the top, you basically just wind the center thread in a repetitive pattern around the hoop over and over.  Some tips:

  • It’s really hard to get all of your first level of loops evenly distributed.  I recommend wrapping them all, then going back and sliding and adjusting them afterwards while keeping the loose end tight;
  • Keep your one hand continuously on the end of the string while looping it through the holes with your other hand… and use a consistent motion (i.e. over-under; over-under…. not over-under; under-over… that will suck);
  • Similarly, you can continuously adjust your loops by tightening and loosening the end of the string with your other hand as you continue to add more levels.


At some point, you have to string a bead into the dream catcher… that is the “spider” apparently.  Whatever.

I chose a white bead.  Make sure you like the colour of bead, because you can’t pull that sucker out without undoing the whole thing.  I’m not sure I like my colour of bead.  Which sucks.


Anyways, once you are happy with all of your web, tie that sucker off and leave a bit hanging – you’re going to tie a feather to it, don’t worry.

Then you just, like, tie a bunch of shit off the end of the dream catcher to  make it look all boho-y and junk.  I tied some leftover “faux-ultra-suede”, some embroidery thread, and twine and other garbage.  I might go back and put some better stuff on later.  Who knows.


After you’ve tied all your junk on the end, you should put some beads and feathers and stuff like that on it.  It makes it even more ultra-boho-hisptery.

BLAM!  Dream catcher all up in yo’ face:


Posted in Arty Art, Crafty Crafts, DIY, Housey Stuff 2 Comments »

Vintage Things I Bought This Weekend

I didn’t have a lot to do this weekend, which means I wandered around spending money on things I don’t need.  Here is an analysis of my stupid purchases:


Item: Vintage 70’s Denim Vest
Purchased at: Trinity Bellwoods Giant Yard Sale
Cost: $3.00
Wearability: a 4 out of 10.  Can wear Canadian Tuxedo styles with jeans or like, with other things… I don’t know… I’ll figure it out… IT’S AN AWESOME VEST, COME ON.


Item: Vintage 90’s Floral Flippy Mini Skirt
Purchased at: Philistine
Cost: $35.00
Why I Bought It: It’s getting frigging hot and I need things that are short but that aren’t *actual* shorts because my legs look like sausages in actual shorts.
Wearability: a 6 out of 10.  Very wearable for casual stuff and the navy goes with a lot.  Can’t wear to work as is too slutty.


Item: Vintage Cole Haan Tassle Loafers
Purchased at: Philistine
Cost: $40.00
Why I Bought It: Although I have many many many pairs of shoes, and many pairs of loafer-type things, I do not have a black pair.  AND these are fucking adorable.  Jesus.
Wearability: a 7 out of 10.  Super comfortable and they are fancy enough to wear for more serious things.  Sometimes black flat shoes make my legs look like sausages though, so I need to be careful.


Item: Vintage 70’s Cotton Gauze Peasant-Boho-Hippie-Western-Cool-Girl Maxi Dress
Purchased at: Silver Falls Vintage
Cost: $35.00
Wearability: a 2 out of 10.  Where am I going to wear this fucking thing?  Nowhere.  Never.  It just makes me happy that I have it sitting in my closet and that I can put it on and do pirouettes and feel like a 70’s hippie princess every couple of weeks, and it hides my sausage legs.  Don’t judge me.  I know you’re jealous.


Posted in Randomness, Style, Things, Vintage Love No Comments »

If you ever want to make out with me…

…give me two glasses of wine then play this:

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One Day in Santa Fe (Part Two)


When I found out I was going to have some free time in Santa Fe, my first course of action was to go into my bank account and calculate how much money I could spend on superfluous pieces of turquoise jewelry and unnecessary southwestern textiles.  Do I need either of these things?  Fuck no.

First thing I wanted to go see was the Native American Vendors Program, which is a government-sponsored/organized section of the local Governors building where Native American artists and vendors can sell their work to walkers-by.


There was a LOT of turquoise, and I pretty much plottzed.  I guess I thought because I was in New Mexico, the turquoise would be super cheap, and although it was definitely not as expensive as it is in Toronto, it really wasn’t crazy reduced.


There was lots of great silver-work, too.  I wanted this damn braided bracelet SO F-ING bad, but it was like $250 bucks and even with my superior bartering skills, I can’t afford that shit.  So I left it.  Devastating.  DEV-A-STA-TING!


First objective: get rings.  I liked this one, but the guy wasn’t budging on price and I was all like “forget you, guy”, and went on to the next booth.  As you can see, I am a shrewd and savvy negotiator.


In the end, I went a little bananas.  Three turquoise rings, and one sliver one.  I love them so much.  Even though they highlight the piglety-ness of my fingers, I shall wear them as often as I can.


My second objective was to do some vintage shopping, which is becoming an all-consuming need when I visit a new place.  I have a desire to buy something so that I can be all like “Yeah, whatever, I got it at a vintage store in <insert town here>.  No big deal.”  Since I only had one day, I did a bit of research before coming, and this place called Double Take came up many times.


Double Take is huge and has like, a bunch of sub-stores within it.  There is a main “regular thrift” store at the bottom, a “western and cowboy vintage” store to one side, a full-on crazy antique and furniture store on the top level, and like baby and kids stores on the side.  I went to the vintage cowboy section first.  OF COURSE.


I considered getting a pair of cowboy boots, but then I remembered that I have probably about seventeen pairs of cowboy boots already and I never wear them.  I actually restrained myself.  So proud.  Especially after my turquoise binge.


On to the hats.  I don’t know if you know, but I look *really* good in hats.  Like, all hats.  I think it’s because I have an abnormally large  gorilla-head, and hats balance out its size.  Here are some hats:


I *wish* I had the nutsack to wear the black hat below around, because I think its so FUCKING bad-ass.  However, it is also in “crazy-lady” territory if you can’t pull it off well.  I chose not to purchase it, because I already think my friends kind of feel like I”m a crazy-lady based on some of the other hats I own.  No need to fan the fires of crazy-lady talk.


Instead, I moved onto the vintage cowboy/southwestern wear and fell in damn-ass-poo LOVE with this off-the-shoulder southwestern fancy lady shirt.  BOUGHT.


Double Take is also where I found this weird two stone ring.  Most turquoise rings started at at least $70 USD, even for ones WAY smaller than this one, but for some reason this one was priced at $25.  Neither me nor any of the salespeople were able to determine why it was so cheap.  Stones and silver all real.  BOUGHT.


There was a *lot* of jewelry.  Bolo ties galore.  I really wanted that blue jug, too, but it was like $140 or some shit. Forget you, snooty expensive blue jug.

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The last (I promise) turquoise thing I bought was this SWEET ASS Zuni necklace below.  The design is called the “Squash Blossom”, and again, these are usually SUPER FUCKING expensive.  Like, we’re talking $1000.00 expensive (Google that shit).  I found this in a huge display case with other turquoise that was 30% off for some reason and there was a small little price written on one corner that said $89.  The salesperson was like… “I’m pretty sure that’s not the price”… and I was all like “Woman.  It says that price.  You have to sell it to me or I’ll sue you.” SO SHE DID.  I have no idea whether you can sue people for writing the wrong price on things, but it seems plausible.

I know it has a couple of stones missing, but I DON’T CARE. BOUGHT.


OH YEAH.  I also found this Jil Sander skirt for SEVEN DOLLARS.


YA, I SAID SEVEN DOLLARS.  Please visit here to get a frame of reference on how fucking unbelievable that is.  It also fit like a sexy butt-glove.  It says “as is” on the tag, but I searched for about 20 minutes and couldn’t find a single fucking thing wrong with it.  FUNKING BOUGHT.

The antiques and artwork in the upper level were also pretty amazing.  There is my blue jug, being all expensive:


I seriously considered buying that “Canada” apron below but then I was like “where the fuck will I put that shit?” so I didn’t.  I also wanted the two posters.  But have no where to put them, either.  Le sob.

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YES.  Neon wolf howling at cactus:


YES.  Happy skeleton lady, painted on a damn plate:


YES.  1970’s tacky-amazing dishware:


Sigh.  Popped into a couple of other stores, but to be perfectly honest, I had pretty much drained my budget at this point so I didn’t really have money to spend anyways.

Went back to my hotel and ate a delicious club sammie:


Then they were serving s’mores in the lobby so I hauled my fat ass over for a s’more to eat while watching the sun set:

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FYI – the sunsets in Santa Fe are UNBELIEVABLE.  I felt like I was watching the end of a dramatic movie.  The light changes constantly and the colours are so vivid.  Eyeball boner.


The best part is that as soon as the light drops out of sight, like thirty coyotes howl as loud as fuck.  It was like nature-magic.


Since it was my last day I wanted to get a video of the sunset, so I took my s’more and ran up a steep hill to get a good view.  Here is my video.  You can hear me gasping for breath like an obese person because I am so out of shape.  Try to block that out and focus on the beauty of the moment:

Highly recommend Santa Fe.  Go.  I’ll leave you with my picstiched Insta of the sunset.  My hipster homage:


Posted in Favorite Things, Things, Travel, Vintage Love No Comments »