March, 2013

March 27, 2013

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First time wearing my Missoni Orange Label vintage shift.  Conclusion – I don’t think that ’60s mod shapes really flatter my ‘1890s fat-lady frame.

Still, it’s Missoni, so suck it.

Posted in Outfit A Day, Vintage Love No Comments »

March 26, 2013

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I refuse to believe that the weather is still this cold.  Enter, salmon-pink skirt, who screams to everyone from my nether-regions: “SPRINGSPRINGSPRING”.  Also, it screams “IEATMANYCROISSANTS.”

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I don’t ask for much…

My Bedroom Retreat

… but I ask politely, demurely, anxiously, sexually (less so… but still), that you take 2 minutes out of your day and vote for my “spacious” bedroom in Apartment Therapy / Legget & Platt’s My Bedroom Retreat contest.

CLICK  HERE: http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/natalies-spacious-bedroom-my-bedroom-retreat-contest-186628#contest-widget-7758

WHY???  See below:

  1. My write up is ditzy and I sound stupid and now I’m embarrassed that I said my bedroom is for “play[ing] with my dog Molly for long periods of time… she loves rolling around on the bed.”  I sound like such a sexless loser.  So feel sorry for me and vote.
  2. I am the only person I know who doesn’t have an iPad.  I know – first world fo’ sho, but still, come on.  You will significantly increase my ability to waste time AND I will be more likely to post to my blog about things that have no consequence in your life.
  3. I did the whole thing myself with my brain-hole and I didn’t have any help (…not even from my boyfriend.  Like, NONE.  He sat on the couch in his underwear.).
  4. The room is 90% thrifted and DIY.  I’m so Parkdale-Hipster-Lady-esque that YOUR BRAIN MIGHT EXPLODE.
  5. I will send one karma unit  of incandescent happiness to everyone who votes, so your day will probably become awesome.
  6. Some of those people submitted their DAMN bedrooms like four weeks ago and have FOUR WEEKS of additional voting time under their belt.  UNFAIR?  Maybe, but what would I be if  I complained about the equity regulations of a contest that could potentially give me an iPad?  A stupid person, that’s who.  SO VOTE HARD.

Thank you friends and lovers (mostly friends).

Posted in Favorite Things, Housey Stuff, Randomness No Comments »

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LITTLE SAUSAGE!

Molly is FOUR years old today!  Seems like yesterday she was a little runt puppy being picked on and pushed around by her brothers and sisters because she was too small to stand up:

Molly Puppy

I am so grateful that I have been chosen to be her person-mom and play-friend.  Even though she stinks sometimes and always looks worried and is constantly eating like, pieces of tin foil off the ground and then I have to stick my finger in her mouth and dig around to pull out the piece of tin foil, I love her more than anything.

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Posted in Canines, Favorite Things 1 Comment »

First Day of Warm Weather…

…makes me realize that EVERY GIRL IN TORONTO IS COOL AND STYLISH AND GORGEOUS except for me.

Here is how I felt when walking down the street on Sunday:

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Dublin Day Two – Monkstown & Guinness Storehouse

After a few days of working, I was able to have two and half days all to myself, which is personally very stressful because I usually want to do and see EVERYTHING and two days is not that much time.  So, I decided to get up at like 5:00 am every day, both to go to the gym and sweat out my croissant weight, and to maximize my “seein’ Dublin” time.  The first day was jam-packered with stuff.

First, a work colleague of mine who is from Ireland decided to take me for brunch in a neighboring town called Monkstown.  We went to “Salt”, this restaurant/marketplace thing, which is part of this chain of food and store marketplaces called “Avoca“.  Apparently there was this old abandoned mill in Ireland that someone bought, and they decided to re-open the mill and sell throws and rugs, then there was like, some woman there who started making food with local Irish ingredients, then they released a bunch of cookbooks, then it exploded into an National phenomenon.

Since I was on a strict “Don’t Be Fat” diet, I got the yogurt and fruit.  It was preeettty delicious.  I have no idea what those red fruits halves that are filled with weird egg-sperms.  Do you know what they are?  They were really sweet for things that look like sperms.

We then went for a quick walk, but it was rushed because I was cold and we had to get back to Dublin in time for my VIP GUINNESS TOUR.  Ballin’ large, what.

After my delicious brunch I met up with my friend Amanda who flew in from London like a bad-ass to hang out with me for two days in Dublin.  First stop – a VIP tour of the Guinness Storehouse.  Not sure if I mentioned, but it was a VIP (Very Important Person) tour.  Due to my importance as a person.

First, a free lunch at a Guinness restaurant, a GIFT BAG containing MOUSE PAD AND SHOT GLASS, then a personal tour of the whole storehouse.

One of the most interesting parts of the tour was the advertising hall, which had tons of old ads and bottles and bottle openers and stuff like that.

Did you know that Guinness had this publicity stunt in 1959 on their 200th birthday and dumped 150,000 bottles in the Atlantic ocean with a numbered scroll in them for a free beer?  They are still being found today, as far away as Australia.

Did you know that doctors used to recommend Guinness to pregnant women as a tonic?

I told our guide Aaron that I KNEW SOMETHING about Guinness that HE did not – that you can apparently live for 7 years on Guinness alone.

Aaron told me, no no, stupid Canadian girl, that is stupid and whoever told me that is an idiot.

This is our tour guide, Aaron.  He was awesome.  Here he is getting us some Guinness for our personal tasting.

Then a trip to learn how to pour the perfect Guinness.  It’s serious business, just so you know.  There are six steps and all of them result in waiting longer to chug your beer.

  

Then we got our certificates for “Perfect Pours”, and walked our beers up to the Gravity Bar where we overlooked all of Dublin like ballers.

But wait, before that, Aaron took us to a “private VIP experience” at the “Guinness Beer Connoisseur Bar“, which is like really hard to get access to or something like that.  He said it was “the most exclusive bar in Ireland”, and since we are VIPs, that makes sense.

An interesting discovery while we were overlooking Dublin.  There is some tower with a green roof that is called “St. Patrick’s Tower”.  The reason I bring it up is because it looks like a penis with a boob on top. That is all.

After the Guinness tour, we were itching to go to a pub and drink.  We had a few recommendations from friends who were actually Irish, as we wanted to hang out in more “local places”, like every tourist wants to.  We asked our cab driver about them and he sent us in the right direction to Kehoe’s, which was very local even though it was so close to Grafton Street.  He also told us to  “get rid of dem Guinness Storehouse bags unless ya want to be robbed.”  Which was sound advice.

The place got crowded *really* fast with the after work crowd, and there were a lot of guys in suits and stuff.  The bar was really fun and it felt like we were just hanging out enjoying life.

One man became very friendly with us and spent the good part of an hour talking to us about Irish things including how drinking Guinness makes you go to the bathroom weird.  His name was Dave and he happened to mention several times that he was divorced.

Pay no attention to my potato nose in the following images:

BEER.

The plan was to go back to the hotel, change, then go out to a couple of bars, but I was so tired (drunk) that I felt like throwing up.  So we pretty much crashed that night.  Tomorrow we drink several more beers in different locations.  It will be riveting.

Posted in Drunken Observations, Travel 1 Comment »

Roasted Red Pepper & Carrot Soup!

Awwww yeah, I made this last night and friggen loved it.  It’s also really good for you and low in calories so if you are trying to de-lardify, like I am, it’s a great recipe.

Here it is.  Make it, then eat it, then feel doubly satisfied.

  • Olive Oil
  • 3 big red peppers
  • 2 big, phallic carrots
  • 3/4 of a sweet onion
  • Big tablespoon of minced garlic
  • Herbs de Provence
  • Salt and Pepper
  • Parsley & Thyme
  • Box of Chicken or Vegetable Soup Stock (500 ml?  I think that’s how big they are…)
  • Tablespoon of Light Feta Cheese

Step One: Roast the Peppers

This is easier than you think it is – basically you chop the pepper in half, take out the inside seeds and stuff, then put them on a baking sheet and kind of smash them a little bit to make them flat.  Then broil them until the skin starts to go all gross and black and blistery (about 10 or 15 minutes).  Take them out of the oven then put them in a pot with an airtight lid immediately, because you have to take the gross slimy skin off and you want them to steam all up then the skin will peel off.

Leave them in there for about 10 minutes then peel the skin off.  It’s gross and slimy.  Like, really.

Step Two: Sautee the non-pepper stuff

Chop up the onion and carrots and throw them in a pan with the herbs and all that junk (basically everything but the peppers, feta, and stock), and saute them until the onions start to go all floppy.  Then throw the peppers in.  Then throw the soup stock in.

Step Three: Simmer and Pulverize

You bring everything to a boil then let it simmer for a while.  Basically until the carrot chunks start to get all soft and you can mash them with your fork.  ADD SALT.  SALT MAKES EVERYTHING BETTER (except your health).

Then you have to puree it all up.  IMPORTANT NOTE: I highly recommend getting one of those hand-held blender things, because I put my soup in an old-fashioned blender while it was like, PIPING hot, which is a *really* stupid idea, because all the steam creates some kind of explosion vortex and then the hot, hot soup explodes out of the blender and into your delicate eyeballs.

Regardless, I was able to puree it slightly, despite my permanently destroyed eyeballs.  If I had a hand-blender, I would have made it much less chunky.

Step Four: Add the Delicious Cheese

Then, put your crumbled feta cheese on the top.  You can add a sprig of thyme if you are fancy like me.

Then eat it and feel superior to all other humans.

Posted in Delicious Food 3 Comments »

March 7, 2013

The most important thing about finding good vintage items is knowing your body type.  I have an “old lady” body type, which basically means I have a small waist and big other things… This vintage dress is a perfect match to my old ladyness – it nips in at the waist and the rest of it is like some big mu mu that camouflages the rest of my horrible old lady body.

In other news, this is the first time that I’ve worn my burgundy 70’s boots because every time I put them on I feel like I look like Wonder Woman, and not in a good way.  With the black it seemed acceptable.

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March 6, 2013

The problem with being near Holt Renfrew for a work meeting is that you decide to walk into Holt Renfrew and then you see things on super-sale that fit your body like a sex-glove and you convince yourself that you have to have them.

Such is the case with this dress.

Posted in Outfit A Day 1 Comment »

Dublin Day One – I Was Tired.

Being a baller, I had the opportunity to travel to Dublin for work last week and tack on an extra couple of vacation days for some sightseeing (read: beer-drinking).  I have always wanted to go to Ireland because, in my mind, the country is full of emerald-green fields with red-haired tall men with accents wearing oatmeal-coloured Aran sweaters who know how to play the fiddle… and who wouldn’t want to be surrounded by that?  No one wouldn’t, that’s who.

For some reason the New Releases options on the airplane didn’t really interest me so I decided to watch Wayne’s World two times in a row (as you’ll recall, I am physically/mentally/emotionally unable to sleep in airplanes).

Just so you know, Wayne’s World is a fucking awesome movie and you should watch it again.  Soon.

I took the overnight flight and arrived in Dublin at 7:00 am.  Having not slept for 24 hours meant that I was very delirious and hungry and couldn’t really string two words together, and all I wanted to do was get a coffee and eat something delicious for breakfast.

Fortunately for me, my hotel is awesome-slash-I’m a baller, so I arrived to my suite and found a full fresh breakfast waiting for me with fresh cold juice and hot hot coffee.  I almost cried from joy.  Then I ate that whole basket of pastries like a fat lardy whale.

I had one day to recover from my flight before I had to go to work, so I decided to walk around aimlessly in a sleepless haze with no direction or end goal like a stupid idiot.  I didn’t have my bearings and was barely coherent and could have probably fallen asleep on the side of the road like a hobo and could have been kidnapped and turned into a slave in an underground Irish Aran-sweater knitting slave operation or something equally as dramatic.  So yeah, I probably should have taken a nap first.

All I remember from my walk is thinking “IS IT SPRING OVER HERE?  HOLY FUCK THAT’S AWESOME.”  Apparently I took many pictures of flowers and other spring-related things:

There was some art selling thing going on.  The art was actually really good I think.  I don’t remember too much.

In the background of the picture below it looks like some kid is kicking the lamp post for no reason.  Amazing.

IS IT FUCKING SPRING OVER HERE?  AWESOME.

I imagine all of rural Ireland is covered in this heather-y flower, forming a perfect backdrop for all the tall red-haired, fiddle-playing men just waiting to serenade me.  Note: I did not see any hot Irish fiddlers during my stay.

I guess I was aimlessly wandering towards Grafton Street, which is a big pedestrian touristy type street.  I walked around for a bit. Pointless, though, considering my lack of brain-power.

Finally headed back to the hotel and got an amazing dinner.

I know this wasn’t very interesting.  I promise it gets better tomorrow.

Posted in Delicious Food, Randomness, Travel No Comments »