I am trying really hard to wear coloured pants and not want to constantly pull on the thigh material of said coloured pants due to my extreme thigh-self-consciousness.
These are yellow. They make my thighs look big.
Also, I don’t know why I decided to stand all pigeon-toed in this photo, it makes me look like I have some kind of scoliosis or some shit.
Yes, I’m sure you’ve seen all the huge crazy, ornate fall spreads with multiple paisley/Victorian/pattered what-have you junk all smashed together. I envision myself losing about 30 pounds, growing about 6 inches, and buying a pair of like, lithe brocade bell bottoms and wearing them with a ridiculous sequined jacket and paisley silk tie-necked top and then buying a burgundy felt floppy hat and then BEING A COOL HIPPIE GIRL FROM THE SEVENTIES. Also Russian. I feel like I want to be like, kind of Russian. Note: percentage of time I have spent dreaming up this ridiculous “I’m a cool person” fantasy – 75% of my day.
Speaking of boho-hippie-Russian-paisley-brocade-embroidered-what have you, I am totally and completely obsessed with Winter Kate, Nicole Ritchie’s clothing line. Her F/W 2012 line actually kinda sucks ball sacks, but everything before has the exact perfect drape-y hippie COOL HIPPIE GIRL FROM THE SEVENTIES. It’s *possible* I just bought that silk maxi dress with the eastern-inspired embroidery above. Where will I wear this dress? Why, to all the “cool girl from the seventies” events that will invariably pop up once my fashion dreams become a reality. Obviously, I am currently not invited to these secret events because my boring “not a cool hippie girl from the seventies” wardrobe scares people away.
I have decided that wearing socks with heels all winter fits in with whatever mashed-up fashion monster I am creating here (see “cool hippie girl from the seventies” above). So I went into Joe Fresh and bought every colour of sock they had, and I’m going to wear MANY-A-SOCK this winter, a la Madonna in the Borderline video. ARE YOU READY FOR IT? Probably not. Just get ready.
Something non-fashion related, but definitely COOL HIPPIE GIRL FROM THE SEVENTIES related is that I have decided that I’m going to construct a make-shift ghetto loom and create a weaved wall hanging for my wall. If you know me, you know that I will become obsessed with this idea and will make it happen at the expense of a lot of time and lost sleep. If my ghetto loom is robust enough I might decide to quit my job and become a full-time “70’s wall hanging seller” on etsy. How cool girl from the seventies is THAT?
I really really really like the idea of high-waisted silk pyjama pants, and last night I went to Club Monaco to buy these, but then I was like,
“HEY STUPID – YOU ALREADY OWN THESE IN BLACK AND HAVE NEVER WORN THEM. ”
So today I wore them.
Hooray for life! Apartment Therapy did a House Tour of my place due to my baller-ness and it looks pretty good, if I do say so myself.
A huge thank-you to Abby, who was charming and took some great photos… AND she wrote such a cute and complimentary write up on the site, I even teared up a little. ALSO, she called me “a hilarious blogger/gal about town”! I FEEL SO COOL AND IMPORTANT.
Only thing that I would change is I would lose 10 pounds before they come to photograph me because I look like a gross barefoot heifer. But who likes my gorgeous vintage Missoni circle skirt??? EVERYONE? I know.
Comments on the post have been overwhelmingly positive and make me feel warm in my belly – thank you to everyone, it’s great to hear compliments after all that hard work. A couple of people aren’t keen on my mugshots, and a few people seemed upset that I have an authentic set of Rorschach cards on my wall (note: there was a pretty public leak of the cards in 2009… and it was ridiculously easy to get them… even though neither of us is invovled in psychological assessments in any way… so I guess I figured the “secret” was out), which I definitely understand. But hey – that’s personal preference for ya. In fact, I’m kind of glad – art should be contentious and start discussion, or it’s just squares of watered down boringness on your wall.
I’m going to be posting some more pics and interior room tours of the place in the future – I was actually waiting for this post to come up before I did that to not “ruin” the surprise… for all my 3 dedicated readers.
If anyone has any questions about anything, or just want to say hi, feel free to contact me via comments on this blog or through the email provided on the “About” page above.
I decided that for fall I am going to be Michelle Phillips in the 70’s. Why? SEE PICTURE ABOVE. She is mega-cool. Jeez. Floral maxi dress with blazer? Oh yes. Big ol’ heeled boots? Uh, yes. HAIR IN BRAIDED GERMAN BUNS???? So many kinds of unadulterated yesses. For additional coolness evidence, please see the picture below:
YEAH WHATEVER. Just like some kind of cool Girl Scout leader or some shit being all cool and 70’s. At first I thought maybe she was chewing on a bean in this photo but that seems somewhat unlikely, so I’m going to go with super-cool hand-rolled cigarette.
NO BIG DEAL.
I shall leave you with this:
WHATEVER JUST WEARING A BROCADE SUIT AND EATING A BANANA THEN I DECIDE TO TRANSPORT A FIRE HYDRANT AND HOLD A GIANT GLOBE WHILE ALSO HOLDING AND EATING THE BANANA.
I’m actually not very pleased with myself today. Too matchy. The boots look weird against my pastey white gross bruised-up legs. Skirt makes my hips look huge.
I learned two things from watching the Pixar film “Ratatouille“.
- American Airlines only shows animated films that are child-appropriate during 8 hour flights to California, and the version of, say, Ratatouille that they chose to purchase must be so old and over-used that both the picture and sound are almost indecipherable.
- Apparently it is really really hard to make good ratatouille.
So when I read a recipe for Ratatouille in the LA Times (because I read the LA Times, due to my super high-brow fanciness. Or I found the link to the recipe on Flipboard.), I decided to get ma shit together and try to make it. GOOD. MAKE IT GOOD.
Ok, so apparently, when you make things good, you have to like spend a whole bunch of time and effort on things. You can’t just dump a whole bunch of junk into a pan then go listen to records. Le boo.
I decided to prep everything first. Prepping things took a long time.
First you have to “soak the zucchinis” for 30 minutes. Why? There is no rationale provided for why you have to soak the zucchinis. I even googled “why soak zucchinis” and was not satisfied by any of the responses. And yet, I had decided to follow all instructions, so I soaked them.
Ha ha ha ha. They look like dongs.
Then you have to peel and “seed” all the tomatoes. I have never peeled a tomato in my life. It sucks. Like, seriously sucks. They flop and slip all over your hands, and say hypothetically if you had cut your hand on a beer glass two days ago, the acidity from the tomatoes would BURN YOUR HANDS like the burn of burning burning acid.
ANYways. You have to peel and seed the tomatoes, soak the zucchinis, cut them, peel and cut the eggplant, cut up the onions, mince the garlic, chop the peppers, and chop all of the herbs (I chose
barley basil, parsley, and thyme).
Here is my chef station. I’m pretty serious, just so you know:
Ok, so now that you have everything ready, you have to sautee everything INDIVIDUALLY. Again, you can’t just dump everything into a pan then go listen to records.
Sautee them onions.
Eggplant soaks up oil like nobody’s business.
…then the peppers…
…oh yeah, that soaked zucchini.
And that peeled, seeded tomato mush.
Ok, now that it’s been like seventeen hours and you want to shoot yourself in the face, it’s time to put all the individually sauteed vegetables and throw them into a big pot and let it simmer. Then throw in your herbs.
Time to eat.
Hate to say it.
It was really really good. Like really good.
I’m pretty amazing.