So, I nixed the Outfit a Day thing for a while because, as mentioned, I felt a little self-masturbatory about the whole thing… you know… being all “PICTUREOFMEPICTUREOFMEPICTUREOFME” all of the time can sometimes look a little vain.
But this weekend some of my peeps convinced me that my unplanned “in the toilet change room mirror” selfies, and self-deprecating descriptions were not quite as self-indulgent as I imagined, so I’ll start this bullshit back up again. Mostly because if I don’t do it, I will lapse into a coma of wearing mom-capris with ankle ties and cotton embellished dress shirts from Reitmans, because that tends to be what happens to peoples’ work wardrobe after they become detached from the bumpin’ fashion underground of their youth.
Of course, the day that I restart, my outfit is pretty tame.
I bought this silk dress on the “defective” rack at Joe Fresh for $30.00. What is its defect? I have yet to find out. So it’s possible that there is a huge full-body-sized rip in the ass-area that I have been accidentally sporting all day.
You can also see my gross crack-whore knee bruise that was likely procured during one of the many drunken stumbles I had this weekend.
ALTHOUGH, I am wearing my new favourite turquoise stone necklace that was purchased on ebay for like 5 bones. I wore it around this whole weekend, and during one of the aforementioned drunken stumbles, I thought I had lost it, but it turns out that drunken Natalie is just as protective of her necklaces as sober Natalie… because last night I found it tucked away in my kitchen cabinet between the oatmeal and the rice for safe keeping.
First things first – here is a garden update. So many little things just casually busting out everyday being all like “Yo. It’s me. Blue flower.”. I think that first one might be bluebells? Meh? Do you know? I certainly don’t.
Apparently this is Columbine. I know because my neighbour told me. She was all like “Oh! Look at the Columbine!” and I was all like “Meh?”
Here is a yellow poofer flower. Sorry it’s not entirely in focus. I assure you it is even more impressive when it is fully in focus. I don’t know what that one is either. It’s not a peony, because now I know what the peonies look like (those bad boys are budding up sumfin fierce, BTW). Do you know? Meh?
Here is a flower I like to call “purple explosion flower”, due to it’s explosion of mini flowers that form one larger explosion flower.
Every day there is something new popping out of that garden. I left it for like, 3 days when it rained and it’s already virtually overgrown with weeds. Like seriously – maintaining that shizz is a full-time job. I think this weekend I’m going to plant some annuals to make it look a little more “planned” and less “crazy flower explosion mess”.
After feeling satisfied with my gardening ability (slash standing around taking pictures of other peoples’ gardening ability), I decided to head to The Rhino for some drinks and food. It is quickly becoming my favourite patio in the new hood. Mostly because it is a big patio with direct view of the street so I can spy on people while drinking, which is pretty much what I want to do all hours of the day.
I am drinking a blueberry wheat beer. I know. So girly. Get off my back, ok? JUDGE-Y. It was delicious.
Here is a sparrow or finch or something who clearly derives 100% of his sustenance by picking food off of peoples’ plates on the Rhino patio. This fucker was brave. He would like jiggle-walk right up to your plate and look at you, cock his head with his intense “looking-into-your-soul” bird eyeballs, then bristle out his feather Mohawk as if to be like “YEAH? What the fuck are you looking at? I’m going to eat your shit and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
This is what I’m calling “Brunch #1″. It is called “lava eggs” and it was delicious. But since I am basically a hippopatamus-woman who can eat more than Andre the Giant, I decided that this was not enough, and after two more beers, I ordered “Brunch #2″.
While waiting for Brunch #2, this fucker started walking right up to my hand and just stealing shit out of it. I was pretty impressed. Just saying.
After about another 30 minutes, Brunch #2 still hadn’t arrived. I was pretty drunk and I started chanting in my head “BRUNCH NUMBER TWO! BRUNCH NUMBER TWO!”
Then it came.
Awwwwww yeah brunch #2.
Speaking of food, I went back to the old hood in Trinity this weekend to take the dogs to the park and stopped by Clafouti to get something buttery and delicious. Look how awesome this looks. I assure you, it tasted even better.
Molly and Olive came on a merry jaunt to the dog bowl and went mental chasing sticks and eating poos and rolling around in pees. Olive was a big suck and didn’t want to walk home.
Before you chastise me for torturing Pam’s dog – I assure you she is fine… we were in the park for about 15 minutes tops, I gave her a bunch of water, a big rest, and we paused frequently on the walk home. She clearly just wanted me to pick her up and kept flopping down and looking up at me with her wrinkle-face.
In other news I am SO EXCITED because St. Germain is back in stock at the LCBO. If you haven’t had it before, go get that shit right now. It’s this elderflower liquor that is basically a cross between true love and unicorn sweat. They only get two shipments a year, and seriously… this stuff is the best.
Here is a recipe that I made up due to my large brain. I call it “Natalie’s Sweet and Sour Love Nectar”
1 part Jack Daniels
2 parts St. Germain
Splash of Lime Juice
Drop of Agave Nectar
Here is my dog being perfect:
Here I am waiting to get a soft-serve cone. You know… basically, eating. Again.
I love the pictures below. The one on the left is amazing because it has so many things I love in it. The one on the right is amazing because Molly is being a perfect lady. This only happens when she smells cheese in the vicinity. Just like me, she is powered by cheese.
Here is an example of a perfect banana:
A bit better today, mostly due to my wonderful linen scarf from Argentina… in the most wonderful palette of poo-ish colours imaginable. Additional good news about this outfit is that these pants didn’t fit two weeks ago. HURRAH! Two weeks of eating nothing but chickpea salad and late-night chicken wings has unexpectedly resulted in smaller pant-wearing ability.
Take that, science.
Currently planning a trip to Europe in the fall. Munich, Berlin… and deciding between Prague and Paris. Peut-être Paris, non?
I actually seriously no joke feel like a gross potato-knot on a decaying tree branch today. Grotesque. Washed-out colours. Clumpy hair.
This is spiraling out of control. Tomorrow I promise you something that actually has pith and whimsy. By the power of greyskull, I promise you.