I tried a little bit harder today because I’m feeling a little meh about my oufits this week.  “Tried harder” means that I tried on a whole bunch of different things, realized that almost everything I have is too small, got super frustrated and punched a whole in the wall (practically), and left the house unhappy with myself.

I’m pretty sure I have mental problems.

Not the most exciting outfit in the world… but I’m proud of myself for busting out this vintage 80′s top.  It has a wonderful “I bought it at Cotton Ginny in grade Eight” kind of vibe.

I seriously think I have some kind of mental disease.  I am not able to let my brain relax. 

I have to be making something.  Or fixing something. Or painting something. Or cleaning something.  Or planning the process of doing one of these things.  It’s super annoying.

So of course, even though I didn’t need to, I made some side-projects this weekend.

For some reason, I wanted to buy some vintage arrows and make some art.  So I found some vintage arrows.  And I made some art.  My arrows have real metal tips. It’s like “Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves” styles.  They probably killed things before.  No “safety nubs” for me – I don’t half-ass my arrow art.

Check out those real feathers.  They make the arrow go in certain directions.  You know how I know?  Because in the film “Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves” starring Kevin Costner and Christian Slater, they had this one scene where Kevin Costner had to shoot an arrow at some guy who was trying to chop off Christian Slater’s head with a big axe and because he needed to make the arrow do a curve-shot, he pulled off one of the tri-feather tail thingies and shot the arrow and IT WORKED.

I just used my Girl Guide string-tying skills and I tied my arrows up by wrapping butcher string around them.

BLA-BLAM.  Arrow art.  Kevin Costner would be proud.

I also made some neon-striped wood vases.  They are didn’t turn out as well as the arrow art.

A word to the wise – if you are going to try to paint neon stripes on something that is dark, PRIME IT first.  Because I didn’t prime it, and then I painted like sixteen coats, and it still looks like shizz.  Then I primed it and was done in 5 minutes.  But the other sixteen coats below the primer got all bumpy and goopy and then it kind of made the stripes look like shit.

ARTY PHOTO OP:

Finally, I planted some more plants in some wall-planters.  Suddenly I am a Green Grower, reborn. 

So far none of my other plants have died.  A couple of brown spots on one leaf.  I decided to rectify this problem by watering the shit out of the plant.  It will likely soon rot and die.  However – this guy appears to be happy:

So does this guy:

Plants and beer.  And neon.  And arrows.  It was a pretty good Sunday.

* Also, this.

This dress from Preloved fits me so well, you can barely notice that I ate a block of cheese for dinner last night while trying to finish a whole bunch of things for work.  It camoflauges cheese-obesity well.

I didn’t do much this weekend, other than spend about 6 hours at Home Depot getting materials prepped for yet another project.  This one is a big one.  I’ll tell you the details soon, but here is a sneak peek:

I AM GOOD AT MATH.

You proooobably know what I’m going to make… elbows and tree and flanges and nipples and what-not.  Don’t worry, I tell you the whole harrowing ordeal once it’s all done and beautiful. 

In other news, I love my dog.  She was feeling a little under the weather this weekend, and barfed up some yarn or some shit that she ate who-knows-where, so she was being extra sucky, and basically sat on my shoulder like a parrot for two hours last night.  Here is our scandalous kissing session:

OH AND ALSO, I started watching The Wire and am so addicted.  I almost plotzzed my pantaloons.  I’m only through the first season, so DON’T TELL ME ANYTHING or I will hunt you down and “pop” you.  That’s street-speak for “murder” you.

I am fascinating, I know.

I feel foul today.  Bad mood. Bad, bad mood.

Plus, I look like a potato sack in my oversized tank and oversized blazer.  An important note for everyone who is thinking of wearing oversized things: unless you are basically a skeleton with skin draped on it, you will look like a fat potato sack if you wear oversized things incorrectly.  Like I did.  Today.

Plus I ate a double bacon cheeseburger last night an I’m pretty sure I can feel that my body has expanded at least 4 inches. 

Plus I think I have carpal tunnel from doing film editing at work. My wrist feels like someone is shooting lasers into my bone.

I tried to get my shit together with my “cascading necklace array”:

1. “Plus Sign” necklace from Ann Sportun that I have loved for years.
2. Antique yellow topaz pave ring on a chain that I got at a vintage market in Croatia
3. Zodiac pendant on leatha.  I am a Libra.  Being a “Libra” means I’m a chump and you can take advantage of me.
4. Military crest necklace I got at Preloved.

Sometimes when you do a sweep of your Google Analytics info, you find weird things.

Like this:

20 people accessed my site by searchin for “nude boys” on a search engine, probably because of that one Toronto Archives pic I put up.  Hilarious, but totally, totally creepy.  YOU ARE CREEPY!

Have you noticed how uber-obsessed I am with turtlenecks lately?  Here is why:

1. For some reason, every single fall runway had damn-ass turtlenecks under everything, and to be honest, it looked fucking slick.  Slick as shit, I tell you.
2. I have a really small neck and it makes my small neck all noticeable and people are all like “That chick has a delicate, small neck, which, compared to her gigantic gorilla head, makes her look all skinny.”  Or so I imagine.
3. You can pop a turtleneck under anything to make it winter-appropriate.

For example… the black wrap dress I have on today is really cute but it’s sleeveless.  Solution?  Slap a turtleneck under that shit.  Not only do I look all slick and modern, but I can wear my damn sleeveless wrap dress.

In other news, this is what my hair looks like when I do absolutely nothing to it.  Today it turned out very crazy and gnarly and wonderful and nice, like I am some free-spirited beach-goer who has saltwater and fairy dust in her hair, and who is a freelance blogger who surfs during the day and just like, parties with muscled-up, beachy-haired men in the evening and has a carefree life.  ‘Ain’t no thang.