By this time Sunday, I will be in Buenos Aires drinking Argentinian wine in a scandalously sheer sundress.

Or maybe eating a fabulous local free-range steak in a scandalously sheer sundress.

Or maybe shopping in for Argentinian antiques in a scandalously sheer sundress.

Will probably be scarce until my return, when I will post about all of the above.

I saw this Canada Goose outside my office.  He thought his reflection in the mirrored column was a “rival” goose who was trying to “get in his grill”, so he kept “steppin’ up” to “squash that shit”.

Since I’m a total idiot, I decided to check the “yes” check box when Madewell asked me if I wanted “email updates” of “promotions” and “new arrivals.”

This means that everyday, Madewell sends me an email with gorgeous disheveled hipster models wearing pretty-but-not-too-pretty clothing in a perfectly styled utopia.

So it’s as if I’ve decided to torture myself daily with items that I want and cannot afford-slash-items that only look good on skeletons with messy ombre auburn hair.

I caved last week and bought some stuff.  Obviously, when you’re spending copious amounts of money on things, you should make sure they are totally timeless.  You know, like shockingly bright cobalt blue pants and neon pointelle socks.

Sigh.  Spring better get here soon.  And I better lose about 25 pounds before it gets here.  And Madewell better have a sale before then.

LIFE IS SO HARD.

Is my skirt bright enough for ya?  Get ready for a WHOLE LOTTA NEON this spring/summer… I’ve been stockpiling neon pieces all winter like a little neon-nut-eating squirrel in neon-hibernation, just itching to bust them out all over your face.

Neon is a little too “risque” for my conservative office, but you know what?  I just got my performance review last month, which means there are another 11 months before my next performance review, which means I have a solid 9 months of “crazy pushing-the-edge” outfit-creation time before I have to “buckle down and look business appropriate”.

Pants?  Good or bad?  I’m not sure.

They also have a full-leg lining in them and when I walk it sounds like I’m 5 years old and wearing a full-body snowsuit.

I am MORTIFIED because I realized after I got to work today that I wore this mint green skirt LAST WEEK.

What am I?  A dirty, no-wardrobe HOBO???  I need to get my shit together.  I mostly just wanted to wear this sick new tuxedo blazer, and the soft tinge of pink was just screaming for a pastel green compliment.  But now I am totally mortified.

Also, I forgot that I had to go to a construction site for a tour today.  My “tastefully oversized and fashionable capelet coat” did not jive with my wrap-around security vest.

BLAP-BLAP!  Dirty hobo indeed.

Let’s be honest – I was pretty proud of myself for thinking-of-slash-building my slatty art-piece a few weeks ago… but I’m usually pretty proud of myself, so it’s hard to determine whether, objectively, I should have given myself “props” or whether I was just being vain.

A couple of friends encouraged me to submit my slatty art to a few high-profile design blogs to see whether they would agree with my self-idolatry, or whether they would reject me like an old banana peel on the street.

I submitted to Design*Sponge, one of my favourite blogs, and Kate, the DIY expert, posted it the next day!

I AM VERY PROUD OF MYSELF.  Legitimately, it would seem.

Anyhoo, Kate said some very nice things about me and my slatty slat art, and what’s more, she decided use a pic with Molly front and center.

Look at her… all pensive… looking off to the side, thinking of the human (dog) condition.  So existential.

You should probably read the post and comment about how BAD-ASS I am. 

CHUM-ON, YOU KNOW IT!

I swear my legs don’t look like gross-ass stumps in real life.  It’s just the angle-slash-my pants.  Or at least that what’s I’m telling myself.  Here’s a less offensive angle: