So. I am admittedly a slave to the trends. I really really like rompers. Even though everyone has them and all the stores have them and they’re pretty much on the way out. I still love ‘em.
ANYhoo. Despite my love for rompers, I’ve found that it’s really, really, really hard to find a romper that: a) Isn’t totally ridiculous-looking, and b) Doesn’t make me look like an overgrown fat baby.
So I decided to perform an analysis of my current rompers to determine their wearability. Here are my evaluation categories (scored on a 10 point scale):
- Old Lady Factor - this is the degree to which an old lady would see this romper at Nothern Reflections and say “My! What a practical outfit!” High scores for NON old-lady-ness.
- Low/High Crotch – each romper has a different crotch-to-waist ratio. Sometimes the crotch is too low (and I look like I’m wearing diapers) and sometimes it’s too high (and it’s VERY UNCOMFORTABLE). Highest scores for most comfortable crotch positioning.
- Where Can I Wear This Thing? – Let’s be honest. Rompers are not very wearable. Some less than others. Two points for every place I can think to wear it.
- General Ugliness – Is this just thing cutting-edge or just plain ugly? Higher points for less uggs.
1. 80′s Figure-Skater Romper
Summary: This denim-esque romper looked pretty cute in the store, and I though I was being PRETTY cool when I walked up to the cash and bought it. It’s been sitting in my closet waiting for the next Saved by the Bell Convention.
Old Lady Factor: 3 (them old ladies love the balloon-y shorts…)
Low/High Crotch: 7 ( the balloon-y shorts help…)
Where Can I Wear This Thing: Shopping for other rompers, Saved By the Bell Convention. 4 points.
General Ugliness: 6. It’s pretty ugly.
Overall Score: 20/40
Ridiculous Strapless Sweetheart Romper:
Summary: Yeah. So I saw a server at Czehoski wearing this outfit one night and she looked awesome. Then I went out and bought it the next day. Again, SEEMED like a really good idea… but where do I wear this thing?
Old Lady Factor: 7 (strapless top makes old ladies feel like a hussy)
Low/High Crotch: 6
Where Can I Wear This Thing: For that unique party that requires”formal on top, party on the bottom” outfit, and drinking at Czehoski… As long as that server isn’t wearing it that day. 4 points.
General Ugliness: 6
Overall Score: 24/40
Miami Vice Silk Striped Romper:
Summary: I thought that the silk fabric made this somewhat “fancy”. And it has sleeves so I can wear it more often… right? Look at that hideous crack-whore bruise on my leg. Gross.
Old Lady Factor: 2 (yeah. Old ladies would love this shit)
Low/High Crotch: 10 (excellent crotch positioning)
Where Can I Wear This Thing: Walking down Rodeo Drive in 1978, Arty Hipster Garden Party. 4 points.
General Ugliness: 8
Overall Score: 24/40
80′s Hot Pink Striped Romper:
Summary: Bought this HOT SHIT at The Chosen Ones (we’ll be showing a rack there this weekend, come!) without even trying it on. I swear I had this exact romper when I was 8 years old.
Old Lady Factor: 6 (some old ladies would lust after this bad boy)
Low/High Crotch: 1 (HORRIBLE CROTCH POSITIONING)
Where Can I Wear This Thing: Vintage Clothing Sale, going back in time with my time machine to warn my 8-year-old self not to get that horrible, horrible “short hair” haircut that I had when I was 9 years old. 4 points.
General Ugliness: 8
Overall Score: 19/40
Summary: My first romper purchase last year at H&M.
Old Lady Factor: 6
Low/High Crotch: 10
Where Can I Wear This Thing: Weekend trip to the Island, walking down Queen, dinner or lunch on a patio, Shoebox Vintage sale, riding my bike across town. 10 points.
General Ugliness: 9
Overall Score: 35/40
Banana Squash Lady:
Naked Cat Couple:
Gun, Gun, Cat:
Last weekend’s sale was awesome once again. We had tons of people come out and the weather ended up being fantastic, despite numerous weather forecasts predicting the opposite. Pam and I chilled for most of the weekend enjoying the sun, and met some peeps from around the neighbourhood.
Although the sale was awesome, the day started out kinda wierd when some random kid came up to me and started throwing a temper tantrum because he wanted my sidewalk chalk.
Under ordinary circumstances, I would have no problem giving shite to kids. However, we needed the chalk to advertise the sale… so I said we couldn’t give it to him. He looked straight into my eyes and started SCREAMING. So fine. I offered to give him ONE piece of chalk. I asked him to take his favourite colour. He said he had two favourite colours. I said… ‘seriously. you can have one’. he looked straight into my eyes and started SCREAMING. Then his mom came up to him and actually physically PULLED him away. He broke free and ran up to me and grabbed the whole bucket of chalk and started REEFING it out of my hands. His mom literally had to peel each one of his fingers off of me and pull him down the street as he screamed at the top of his lungs. Totally f-ed up. See below for the progression of emotions I went through during this episode:
Anyhoo, other than that, Pam got some Silly Bandz, which are apparently some big trend in the states right now. Although they are very kid-centric, I must admit that they are kind of addictive, and we ended up selling a lot of them:
Some friends dropped by to say what’s up, including our very gorgeous, very pregnant pal A-Balls.
Yey sale! Stay tuned for our next sale – we’ll be at The Chosen Ones. Come on by!
Here is an illustration in response to Body Dysmorphia Fridays revised by a friend. I particularly enjoy the cascade of mustard stains down the front of my spandex romper:
I haven’t posted any permanent links to external sites or other bloggers just yet… I’m waiting until I get a nice chunky archive so that they can return the favour without feeling like I’m trying to pump up my readership.
However, when my friend Scags sent me this link, I felt I had to break my own rules. This is some of the funniest shit I have ever seen in my entire life.
David (or whatever your name is..) I want to marry you.
Do yourself a favour and click on the link… I actually cried.
1. High Waisted A-Line Miniskirts
I have what you might call a “classic” body type… very hourglass-y (read: not skinny). Basically, it means that I have a really small waist in proportion to my hips and… er… chest. Although all literature about fashion and style will tell you that this is the ideal, I can very strongly advocate that fashion does not really cater to this body type. Low rise jeans me look fat because my waist is hidden, high waist jeans focus on my waist, but my hips (and arse) look GIGANTIC. Pencil skirts are always too big on my waist if they fit my hips… button down shirts that fit my waist are too small for my chest… sigh. ANYWAYS, I was fortunate enough to discover recently that the high waist, A-line miniskirt makes me look… well… pretty friggin hot. Preloved (which is AWESOME) had a “Gee-20″ sale last week and their “High Waisted A-Line MiniSkirts” were on sale for $20.00 (down from $134.00!). So I bought two. HOT STUFF… COMING THROUGH!
2. Letterman Jackets
Since I was a gigantic loser in high school, I was always jealous of those chicks in after-school specials who wear their boyfriends’ letterman jackets all oversized and shit (in case you were wondering… I never had the opportunity to wear a man’s ill-fitting letterman jacket. Mew.). Now that I am a strong, independant woman who doesn’t need a man to validate her self-worth, I’m going to buy my OWN ill-fitting letterman jacket. Suck on THAT, all the boys who weren’t interested in me in high school.
When I was 8 years old, I had the much-sought-after Roots pink letterman jacket. So cool. I would love to find one of those in some vintage store for 20 bucks, but alas, I feel I may have to shell out a bunch of cash for a vintage jacket through etsy or ebay. I’ll keep ya posted!
3. Wrangler, Wrangler, WRANGLER!
I want, want, want, want anything Wrangler right now. High waist, worn-in Wrangler jeans, Wrangler denim shirts, Wrangler denim vests, Wrangler plaid shirts. WRANGLER! I love it. I want to be a cowgirl.
In addition, Wrangler has set the bar for sexiness with this new uber-sexy website. I heart the men on this website. Yum. The ad above is from the current Wrangler campaign… as a frame of reference, here is a ridiculous Wrangler ad from the 70′s to whet your Wrangler appetite. Note the obviously sexy pink snakeskin Wrangler bellbottoms. (say Wrangler again!):
For those of you who have been waiting for the next sale… IT HAS ARRIVED! This time, we’re saddling up for two days of sunny vintage selling fun. We have tons of new, exciting stuff. We’ve sourced some great vintage items, but also have a HUGE selection of pre-owned items that are new or almost new (i.e. awesome stuff that we purchased for ourselves to wear, and either wore one time or don’t fit us anymore). Here are the deets:
WHAT: Vintage and Pre-Owned Clothing Sale!!
WHEN: Saturday, July 17th and Sunday, July 18th - 11:00 am to 5:00 pm
WHERE: 102 Bellwoods Ave. (one street East of Trinity Bellwoods Park, between Queen and Dundas)
WHO: YOU! And your CASH!
What kinds of things are we selling?
- Come sift through tons of pre-owned clothing from Banana Republic, BCBG, Bench, Wilfred, Club Monaco, French Connection, Marc Jacobs, Michael Kors, and more.
- Our vintage selections are an eclectic mix from the 60′s, 70′s, 80′s and 90′s, including high-waisted jeans from Calvin Klein, Levi’s and Lee Jeans, printed silk secretary blouses, leather jackets, denim shirts, and plaid, etc., etc.
- We now have men’s vintage!!!
- We also have some amazing footwear… Cherry Doc Marten’s, combat/granny boots, and oxfords from the 80′s.
See below for some pics:
I think I could pretty easily be a vegetarian – I never really liked meat when I was younger and find myself forgetting to eat it pretty often. I would, however, have a very hard time being vegan, because of my debilitating lust for cheese. I frigging love love love cheese. If I could live off a diet of complete cheese in different formats, I would be a pretty happy lass. If I could drape myself in a cheese suit, and breathe in cheese and live in a tent made of stretched out melted cheese… well, you get the picture. Here is a siiiiick recipe for a deee-licious grilled cheese sammy:
Delicious Sweet and Savory Grilled Cheese Sammy
Prep Time: Depends how slow you move your hands
Makes: One serving for Natalie… Four servings for a non-cheese-obsessed person
4 slices thick-cut Gruyere Cheese
8 Slices organic cranberry walnut bread, cut relatively thin (but not TOO thin)
Red Pepper Jelly for Dippin’
Caramelize the onions however one does that. I think you are supposed to fry them for a really long time or something like that. And maybe you drizzle caramel on them. Then, put the butta on the cranberry walnut bread (outsides), then put the gruyere in the middles with a couple of pieces of arugula (only a couple, because if you put too much then it is too arugula-y), and put the caramelized onions on them, then fry the outsides until it gets all crispy and the cheese is all melty and delicious. Cut ‘er along the diagonal and put the red-pepper jelly on the side for dips!
Or go to this site for a similar recipe with some sexy food shots: http://www.adiaphane.com/2010/04/grilled-cheese-and-creamy-tomato-soup.html