I went to the cottage this weekend and, in typical Natalie-fashion, vowed to myself that I would only bring healthy food. With this in mind, I went to Whole Foods and bought several BUCKETS of fresh fruit, imagining myself lounging on the dock, feeding myself sliced peaches and blueberries while sipping cucumber water and feeling superior to other people while my thin limbs glowed in the sunlight like the well-defined legs of a newborn deer.
In similar Natalie-fashion, I forgot ALL the fruit I bought in the damn fridge crisper when I packed for the cottage. To console myself, I drowned my healthy-resolution sorrows in Smartfood, bacon, and rum.
That is neither here nor there. The real point of this post is that, when I came home from the cottage, a nutrient-deprived, rum-hungover-ed mess, I had a whole fucking fridge of fruit that needed to be eaten STAT…
Who buys NINE peaches?
…so I made this Peach Blueberry Crisp.
Stuff you Need:
- A few honking spoonfuls of unsalted butter, melted in the microwave
- I don’t know, probably a cup of all-purpose flour
- 1/2 cup brown sugar
- Dash of cinnamon
- Dash of salt
- One package instant oatmeal (I chose Brown Sugar flavour, but like, do whatever you want)
- One pint blueberries, washed and dried
- 3 medium peaches, halved, pitted, and sliced into smaller pieces
- 1/4 cup granulated sugar
- 3 Tbs. cornstarch
- Dash of freshly ground nutmeg
Yeah, so wash all yer fruit. You need to pull the peaches off the pit, which can be messy, especially if the peaches are over-ripe. Or under-ripe. Basically, you better wish your peaches are at the perfectly ripeness level or else you’ll be up to your armpits in acidic peach juice.
I found that if you run your knife along the center of the peach, in a circle, all the way around the pit, then make another slice next to that big slice, you can wiggle the first slice off the pit pretty easily, then you just keep slicing off pieces from there.
Ok, so throw your peach “cubes” and blueberries into a giant bowl and pour in the white sugar, cornstarch, nutmeg, and a small dash of salt, and stir it all up nice and good-like:
Then toss it in a buttered pan.
YESSSSS. Fruit with sugar and nutmeg ALL UP IN MY FACE:
Ok, put that aside. Try to resist the urge to eat pieces of it while making the crisp topping.
For the topping, mix the melted butter with the brown sugar, flour, dash of salt, cinnamon, and package of instant oatmeal – mix that shizz with clean hands so you can feel the consistency. So this is why making crisp is SUPER EASY. If you get the proportions wrong, just keep adding either more butter or more flour until it feels right.
See below for a good “crisp topping” consistency. If you have too much butter, it will be too gooey. If you have too much flour, it will be too dry. Just like… use your brain. Come on.
Now pour the delicious topping on the delicious bottom and STUFF THAT SHIT IN THE OVEN.
Bake for about 35 – 40 minutes or until the top is slightly golden and the delicious fruits are bubbling and boiling.
Let it cool because I fucking burnt my entire trachea trying to demolish my first helping.
PUT IT ON A CHINA PLATE AND STUFF YOUR FACE: