DIY

DIY Dream Catcher

DIY-Dream-Catcher

I have this weird space in my bedroom between the door to my outdoor balcony and a column that I have been meaning to fill with something – originally I had two hanging plants there, but since I have a fundamental lack of motherliness, they both died within a week and have been sitting against the wall, dried up and dead for over a year, like plant-skeletons mocking my matronly ineptitude.

I thought that the space was perfect for a large-sized, uber-hipstery dream catcher, and since I refuse to pay money for anything that I can reasonably make myself, I set some time aside to throw one together this weekend.

It’s surprisingly easy – I looked at the quick figure below for about 30 seconds then got to bisznas.

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The first thing you need is a big ring.  I wanted a really big dream catcher and it’s actually pretty hard to find purpose-made “dream catcher rings” in large sizes, so I improvised and used a big embroidery hoop.  In retrospect, it’s a little too flat along the edge, but I don’t f-ing care that much.  What am I, the Queen of England?  Pffffffft.

Then you wrap the ring in leather or “faux ultra suede” like me.  IMPORTANT NOTE: you need much more leather than you think you do.  Much more.  Err on the side of caution and buy A LOT.

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This part of the dream catcher is the most annoying and boring, so it helps if you’re drunk.  I recommend a big, frosty craft beer.  It helps the “faux-ultra-suede” wrapping part go by quicker.

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Alright, wrap the whole hoop then tie the ends tightly.  You can see in the photo below that I have TWO ends on each side of the hoop.  That’s because I underestimated how much leather I needed, used it all and only got half-way, then had to go back to the store and buy more to finish the other half.  If you are a normal person, you will only have one end.

Anyways, as per the figure up at the top, you basically just wind the center thread in a repetitive pattern around the hoop over and over.  Some tips:

  • It’s really hard to get all of your first level of loops evenly distributed.  I recommend wrapping them all, then going back and sliding and adjusting them afterwards while keeping the loose end tight;
  • Keep your one hand continuously on the end of the string while looping it through the holes with your other hand… and use a consistent motion (i.e. over-under; over-under…. not over-under; under-over… that will suck);
  • Similarly, you can continuously adjust your loops by tightening and loosening the end of the string with your other hand as you continue to add more levels.

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At some point, you have to string a bead into the dream catcher… that is the “spider” apparently.  Whatever.

I chose a white bead.  Make sure you like the colour of bead, because you can’t pull that sucker out without undoing the whole thing.  I’m not sure I like my colour of bead.  Which sucks.

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Anyways, once you are happy with all of your web, tie that sucker off and leave a bit hanging – you’re going to tie a feather to it, don’t worry.

Then you just, like, tie a bunch of shit off the end of the dream catcher to  make it look all boho-y and junk.  I tied some leftover “faux-ultra-suede”, some embroidery thread, and twine and other garbage.  I might go back and put some better stuff on later.  Who knows.

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After you’ve tied all your junk on the end, you should put some beads and feathers and stuff like that on it.  It makes it even more ultra-boho-hisptery.

BLAM!  Dream catcher all up in yo’ face:

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Posted in Arty Art, Crafty Crafts, DIY, Housey Stuff 2 Comments »

DIY Retro Kitchen Appliances

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Hey.

Remember this?  I likey.  I likey a lot.

You know why I likey so much?  Because it’s all poo-green like in the olden-days. I like the olden-days, much better than I like the current-days, mostly because of the appliance colours.  I mean, let’s be honest.  Appliance colours really do define the zeitgeist, more so than political change or social movements.  The main reason that the 2000′s sucked was because of all the stainless steel appliances.  You know what stainless steel appliances lead to?  Paris Hilton.  Obviously.  And nobody wants that.

Anyways, so the other day I was sitting on the floor of my kitchen, staring aimlessly into space as I often do, wondering how I could make my kitchen more old-timey without spending a jabillion dollars, as I often do.  And then I realized the solution was simple.

PAINT THAT SHIT.  Like… with house paint.

I submit as evidence, the kitchen scale that I bought for $2.00 at a yard sale last year:

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It has a marginal retro vibe, yes.  But it is pretty boring.  IMAGINE IF THAT BAD BOY had an old-timey appliance colour?  I can guarantee no one would be selling it at a yard sale.  They’d be putting that shizz up on Etsy for like $150.00.  FYI: Old-timey appliance colours fall into the following brackets:

  • 50′s-60′s: mint green and like, farty pinks
  • 70′s: poo-greens and eyeball-attacking oranges
  • 80′s: anything with lasers painted on it

My kitchen has beautiful, imported, calm blue Italian glass tiles for a back splash (due to my MEGA BALLERDOM), and although I really like my poo-green Kitchenaid, I felt that a mint-green would be appropriately old-timey.

DIY Retro Kitchen Thingamajig

Materials

  • Appliance Thingamajig (i.e. yard-sale scale)
  • Can of paint (need ideas for colours?  I just gave you some.  Avert eyes upwards.)
  • Painter’s Tape
  • Paintbrush
  • An Exuberant Spirit and Positive Outlook (optional)

Step One:
Tape the areas that you don’t want to be all retro-looking (i.e. the areas that actual have functional parts and moving levers and pulleys and junk):

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Step Two:
Prime the Thingamajig:

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Step Three:
Paint it mint green.  Slap a coat of low-gloss polyurethane on it.  Bask in the glory of your mint-green success.  Put fruits on it.  Take pictures of it.  Instagram them.  And so on and so forth.

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Posted in Crafty Crafts, DIY, Housey Stuff, Vintage Love No Comments »

DIY Feather Epaulettes

So, the other day I was shopping for a holiday outfit last minute, as is usually the case.  It’s not that I *need* another outfit, it’s more that I enjoy the pressure of finding something new and completely unneeded at the last minute like a crazy person.

Being a magic wizard, I managed to find a vintage black long-sleeved jersey Vera Wang dress at a local vintage shop.  I bet you want to punch me in the face.  I know.  If I weren’t me I would want to punch me in the face too.

Anyways, although the dress was beautiful and fit me like a sex-glove, it felt a little plain to be a “holiday” dress, so I started looking for some jewelry or something along those lines, and came across a shop selling these like, feather-shoulder-things with chains on them.  They looked kind of cool so I wandered in and took a look.

They were some feathers.  Some chains.  There was also a price tag.  For sixty bucks.

So in my mind I was all like – WTF, how is this sixty bucks?

Then the salesperson comes over and says “OH, those are from a Toronto artist, they are SO nice.”

And in my brain-hole I thought to myself “YEAH, one of your friends who lives in the city went to fucking Sussman’s on Queen and bought ten dollars worth of feathers and hot glued them together and added some cheap-ass chain.”

SO THEN I thought in my brain-hole “I CAN ALSO go to Sussman’s on Queen and buy ten dollars of feathers and hot glue them together.”

So I did.

Here is my DIY for feather epaulettes.  Total cost with pins: $12.00.

You will need:

  • 2 long brown feather fan-thingies (they come pre-fanned)
  • 2 short brownish patterned feather fan-thingies
  • Some pins
  • Hot glue gun

Process:

Glue the small fans to the big fans.  Sew on the pins.  Pin that shit onto the shoulders of your fucking dress.

Important Tips:

Don’t leave your vintage Vera Wang dress with newly affixed DIY feather epaulettes within reach of your dink-hole of a dog.

SHE RIPPED THAT SHIT APART.  No remorse, either:

So after all that work I had to wear the plain dress with NO FEATHER EPAULETTES like a NO TALENT BUM.

After five glasses of wine and three beers I decided to forgive her when I got home at the end of the night.

Posted in Crafty Crafts, DIY, Style, Vintage Love 1 Comment »

DIY Floor Pouf

As mentioned previously, I had someone doing a shoot of my apartment this weekend (HA HA HA I am so fancy.  I have people “doing shoots” of things in my life.), and I felt the need to complete a few last minute unecessary crafty things to make my place look more interesting than it is.

My loft space has that huge, blindingly bright Turkish Kilim Rug, and although I LOVE it, it’s really really hard to design around because it’s like, overwhelming and basically attacks your eyeballs.

On an unrelated-but-related note, I have been thinking about making a floor “pouf” for some time.  First, because it’s always good to have extra seating, second, because there was this extra space at one side of the loft, and last because I like to say “pouf”, over and over and over.  POUF!

I saw these at West Elm.  And they are beautiful.  And I thought that the crazy same-but-not-the-same kilim fabric would compliment the craziness of my rug.

AND THEY ARE THREE HUNDRED AND TWENTY DOLLARS.

Like, seriously?  Come on.  FINE.  I get that they are like, “one of a kind” and someshit like that, but you clearly just took old rugs that couldn’t be sold as rugs because they were defective and cut them up and sewed them into fucking squares.

Then I was all like “I CAN CUT SHIT UP AND SEW IT INTO SQUARES ON MY OWN.”

So I went to designer fabrics and found me some “kilim-esque” fabric.  25 bucks a yard.  Bought a yard and a half.

Molly approves.

 

Then I cut it into two squares and four long rectangles.  It’s not fucking brain surgery.  Here are your instructions:

Then you stuff the box with shit.  I literally filled it with a bunch of old blankets and some old gross pillow or something, then I tore apart the stuffing from some other pillow I didn’t want any more and filled that shizz up.  A note – you will need WAY more stuffing than you think you will.

Molly approves.

Then you top-stitch around the seams at the top and bottom of the box. That is all you need to do.

I’ve just saved you $280.00.  You are welcome.  Buy me a present.

Posted in Canines, Crafty Crafts, DIY, Housey Stuff 6 Comments »

Easy DIY Herb Planter Thing

In the spring, I had these grandiose plans of creating an organic utopian herb and vegetable garden on my deck and dancing around it in while wearing long floral dresses in barefeet and playing a tambourine, but then I thought “I have TONS of time to make an herb garden”, and decided to get drunk in my underwear and watch The Bachelorette.

Then, on the weekend, I realized it was friggin July and my poor deck was still barren of organic herbs and shit.  Unacceptable.  So yesterday I decided to get my shit together and get started.

Problem #1 – What to plant
Although I would like to say that I picked my herbs and vegetables based on future plans of cooking up some delicious domesticated pasta sauce recipe like mothers on mom-blogs and shit, it was  mostly dictated by the following:

  1. The vegetable plants that were left at the local corner store and didn’t look like they were on the verge of death; and
  2. Herbs that I could put in booze to make a delicious cocktail.

So I got a tomato plant that was big (but no tomatoes on it…), a pepper plant that was small (with no peppers on it…), but looked like, green or whatever, and the following herbs: basil (for caprese salads), mint (for mojitos), lavender (for fancy aromatic classic cocktail things), and parsley (because I needed four to make my herb garden symmetrical and I couldn’t think of anything else).

Please note my helper in the top right corner of the photo.  She made sure she was around me at all times, snoozing leisurely while I sweat and slaved in the heat.

Problem #2 – How to hang them up
So I had planned to hang my herbs up on the fence, but I didn’t want to spend a lot of money on some like planter-hangy thing because I’m cheap.  So I put something together that was likely modified from something I saw on Pinterest or some shit.

Basically, you buy terra cotta pots, and those like, tube holdery things that are silver and you always see at the hardware store and you think to yourself  “What the hell are those things?  Could I make something with them?  It looks like I could make something with them.”  Test the size and make sure they go around the pots, but stop right at the lip (so you can hang them).

Also buy galvanized wire, nails, and picture hooks (galvanized means “no get rusty”).

Here is my super-ghetto hanger creation:

Then you just smack the picture hook into the fence, hang the wire-tube holder thing on it, and stick your plant in it.


Ghetto?  Yes.  Expensive?  No.

Note – when I hung it, the planter was tilting a *little* too much, and the water like, spilled out the front of it, so I had to add another nail in the wire closer to the ring to keep it tilted up.

BOOM.  Instant herb garden for like, ten bucks.

I also planted my tomaters in a big pot as well as my “pepper plant”.

I give them both a 10% likelihood of producing edible fruit.

Here is my new and improved organic hippie garden!  Time to put on some Donovan and dance with a tambourine!

I decided to reward myself with things that are bad for me.  Molly also thought she deserved a rest from ALL THE WORK SHE DID.

Posted in Canines, Crafty Crafts, DIY, Housey Stuff 2 Comments »

DIY Tee-pee

Have you been thinking to yourself : “If there is one thing I need, it’s a tee-pee, so that, instead of sitting in my living room, I could sit in my tee-pee in my living room, or instead of sitting on my deck, I could sit in a tee-pee on my deck, etc.”?

Well today is your lucky day, because all your teepee desires will be fulfilled.

Yes, I’m going to tell you how to build your own wicked-cool “3 person” tee-pee.  I put “3 person” in “quotations” because while getting blottzed last weekend we managed to fit 8 people in this tee-pee, but it was less than comfortable, and I’m pretty sure we almost destroyed the tee-pee.

But if you are looking for a semi-private location for three people to discuss politics and the socio-economic state of the world, say, while, doing shots of cinnamon whiskey, than this teepee is perfect.

I originally found my inspiration from Smile and Wave here, but made some modifications to make the tee-pee a big bigger and changed the design a little bittle.  Ok so go to the hardware store/craft store/dollarstore and buy these:

  • 6 x 8 foot framing beams (1″ x 2″)
  • Biggest canvas drop cloth you can find (I bought a 9′ x 12′ and it still wasn’t big enough… had to go back and buy another)
  • A bunch of ribbons
  • Twine or leather lace
  • Paint and a paintbrush

Here is my fancy tee-pee pattern.  It’s pretty damn simple.  Figure it out.

Now that you’ve cut out all your shizz, time to sew.  Make sure that your sewing machine is not broken, because if it is broken, you’ll have to take it apart and put it back together after drinking two glasses of wine, and then the bobbin casing might get all fucked up due to your drunkenness, and the needle might get stuck and threaten breaking off into your skull or eyeball socket.

Remember that you are going to be sewing those ribbons to the INSIDE of the tee-pee (i.e. the seam-side) because you’ll want to tie them to the poles to keep them in place.  I basically folded by ribbon pieces in half, and stuck the folded end through the front about 1/2 an inch.  You can see it on the other side, but I think it looks all like cool and professional, like there are little tabs on the seams that I purposely put there.  I think about things like this way too much.

Now lay out the tee-pee on the floor and marvel at your ability to make unnecessary things.  Put your small dog on the tee-pee fabric shell to take a cute picture.

Then Instagram it.

Now it’s time to paint.  I was inspired by some tee-pee I saw on Pinterest with like, black and white Aztec stuff all up on it, and I put this triangle-sun thing on the top.  You know.  Just bein’ bad ass and all.

Ok, let that dry and make sure you don’t step on it while wearing socks and then put your shoe on then discover several hours later that you have “paint-glued” your sock to the inside of your shoe. 

Take your poles and drill a hole in the flat side about 6″ – 8″ inches from the end, then lace your leather or twine piece *loosely* through the holes and circle it around them to hold them in a triangle-ish type thing.  You’ll need to keep them loose because you’ll need to finagle them around while you put your fabric on.

Throw your fabric over and tie the inner ribbons to the poles to hold it in place.  I also tied twine between the poles at the very bottom of the structure to keep them equidistant and stable as drunken friends pile in.

NOW YOU SHOULD TOTALLY DECORATE IT MORE.  With, like, beads and feathers…

And maybe a suede blanket and a furry sheepskin…

Now take a picture of it and Instagram it.

FUCKING-BAD-ASS.

Posted in Arty Art, Canines, Crafty Crafts, DIY, Favorite Things, Housey Stuff, Things 6 Comments »

Bad-Ass

Let’s be honest – I was pretty proud of myself for thinking-of-slash-building my slatty art-piece a few weeks ago… but I’m usually pretty proud of myself, so it’s hard to determine whether, objectively, I should have given myself “props” or whether I was just being vain.

A couple of friends encouraged me to submit my slatty art to a few high-profile design blogs to see whether they would agree with my self-idolatry, or whether they would reject me like an old banana peel on the street.

I submitted to Design*Sponge, one of my favourite blogs, and Kate, the DIY expert, posted it the next day!

I AM VERY PROUD OF MYSELF.  Legitimately, it would seem.

Anyhoo, Kate said some very nice things about me and my slatty slat art, and what’s more, she decided use a pic with Molly front and center.

Look at her… all pensive… looking off to the side, thinking of the human (dog) condition.  So existential.

You should probably read the post and comment about how BAD-ASS I am. 


CHUM-ON, YOU KNOW IT!

Posted in DIY, Randomness 1 Comment »

DIY Pipe-y Wall Unit

 I’m going to start this post by flopping a couple things right out there on the table:

  1. I am very, very proud of myself for making this shelving unit, and you might get annoyed with me as I puff up my chest in self-satisfaction throughout this post;
  2. It is much harder than it looks; and
  3. Although I take credit for the actual planning, prepping and construction of this particular unit, I really did get the idea from The Brick House, a blog that is much, much better than mine.  Check it out for materials lists and stuff.

I want to tell you the harrowing tale of the planning and construction of this thing… not just to revel in my success and to stroke my vanity (chest… puffing…), but also as a public service announcement for those who would like to also plan and construct this thing.

 
BLA-BLAM!

First, let’s visit The Brick House blog, and point out a couple of things that I idiotically chose to glean over in the ”bordering on sexual-level” of excitement that occurred within my loins when I decided to construct this unit:

 Yeah… she says right in the post that it was a super-huge monstrous unforgiving mega-bitch to make… and being a stubborn and “focused” (read: obsessive) person, I just put my stupid head down like a damn bull and starting forcing myself through this process like an idiot. 

That being said, I am really good at preparing for things, and spend a LOT of time working out the correct math for my specific wall measurements.  I wanted the unit to be custom built around the reclaimed barn board table I had made a couple of years ago, and I managed to fit that sucker in there like a glove.  You also have to be SUPER DUPER careful when you measure and drill the holes in the planks to feed in the black piping… because if you screw that shit up… you have to start the whole wood process all over again.


Do not try to decipher my complex mathematical code. 

Alllright.  First things first. You’d THINK that the materials required to construct the shelf would be readily available.  Black pipe, some elbowies and flangies and fittings.  And some wood.  You’d THINK.  The Brick House post seems to indicate that they are easy to get… not unlike walking into a store and getting different sizes of shoes, or maybe buying delicious coconuts at the store.

HA HA HA.  Not so fast, you! 

First, I recommend you call all of the three Home Depots within driving distance of Toronto and ask them if they have pipe.  BEFORE you drive to them all.  Because sometime they don’t stock them so frequently.  Just sayin’.


SURPRISE! 

And, I mean, black 1/2 inch pipe IS “easy” to get.  It is “easy” to get a 10-foot long piece of black pipe, a 24-inch piece, or a 6-inch piece.  But to get 6 – 12″, 7 – 18″, 1 – 32″, 3 – 30″, 1 – 43″, 14 – 8″, and 4 – 9″… is not that easy.  And I know, because I’m a very focused and resourceful person, and I called EVERY plumbing supply place in Toronto.

YOU NEED TO GET A TEN FOOT PIPE, AND HAVE EVERY SINGLE PIECE OF PIPE INDIVIDUALLY CUT. 

Which means you have to go into Home Depot, and ask the very surly Home Depot service man to spend THREE HOURS cutting 4 ten-foot long pieces of pipe into small little pieces, then individually threading each and every pipe end, while trying to answer other customers’ questions.  I’m pretty sure that the guy spent 2 hours and 30 minutes fantasizing about whipping me “pinata-style” in the face with each of the carefully cut and threaded pipes.

Note that you have to wash and spray paint the pipe, which is dirty and greasy and messy and takes longer than you’d think.  But don’t they look pretty!???

Second, the wood.  You need to get planed pine planks that are 1″ x 12″ - two planks at 6 foot (cut down to 4′ 3″ for my measurements) and two planks at 10 feet (cut down to 8′ 10″ for my measurements).  The six foot plank was a breeze – just go to Home Depot and pick that shizz up.

The ten foot plank?  Nope.  Nice try.  It’ll take more effort than that.  Home Depot… and I mean all three Home Depots within driving distance of downtown Toronto… don’t sell 1″ x 12″ planks longer than 8 feet.  Nope.  HA HA HA. You so crazy, Home Depot.

Of course, you’ll have to spend an entire morning calling home improvement stores and lumber yards trying to find the right plank dimensions.  Oh, and make sure you ask for “planed” planks, not “rough” planks.  Because they might leave out that important piece of information, then when you drive all the way to the damn store and they show you the plank, it looks like it got chewed up by a rabid silver back gorilla, and it will give you a billion splinters.


That fucker hurt.

But then I found Danforth Lumber, who are AMAZING and totally friendly and hooked me up with a ten footer.  And cut it for me.

OH YEAH ONE MORE THING.  Make sure you communicate the length really, really carefully.  Because the guy cutting the wood might think you said “8 foot” instead of “8 foot 10 inches”, and you might not realize it until after you brought it home, minutes before you start staining the wood, and you might have to drive all the way back to the East End to Danforth to get another 10 foot pine plank.  And they might not have any left, and might have to spend 1 hour digging some out from waaaaaaay back in the “miscellaneous wood pile”

Just sayin.

Then you have to sand, stain, and varnish the wood.  Get ready to breathe in poisonous fumes for two days, unless, that is, you have a covered outdoor space that would shield the wood from… oh I don’t know… a snowstorm.  Which I did not.  So the stained and varnished wood sat in my family room for two days.

Also – and this is the last thing I’ll say - make sure you buy a 7/8′ inch drill bit, not a 3/4′ bit like it says in the post.  3/4′ is too small.  And make sure you drill a pilot hole before trying to drill out that bitch of a huge hole, or else wood chips will explode into your eyeballs and the drill bit will get jammed up and you will be scared that the bit will detach from the drill and fly into your skull.

Sigh.

Seriously, though, enough complaining.

It really is getting everything bought and prepped that makes this thing really really hard.  Putting it together was a breeze.  It just all screws together like a tinker toy.  Tami came over to help, because she is wonderful.  The whole process (including pancake-eating) took about 2 hours.


Tami is wonderful!


Not only can I construct shelving units, but I can also make banana-pecan pancakes from scratch.  Dream woman, I know.


I do not recommend you take the “one footer” approach to ladder-standing like Tami does.


I assure you that I drill with much more hutzpah than this picture would indicate.  Also, for some reason I look like a butt-ugly hippie-man in this photo, when in reality I am an ethereal woman-nymph.

I’m not going to lie, I felt like a super-amazing, strong independant woman when the whole mofo was all installed and ready to be all vignetted up.

She is very sparse right now, and I have big plans for my upcoming vignette… some Scheurich vases, maybe?  Some graphic prints?  THE WORLD IS MY VIGNETTING OYSTER.

Posted in Crafty Crafts, DIY, Favorite Things, Housey Stuff 16 Comments »

Super-Easy DIY Side Table

I needed some kind of side-table thingamajig for beside my couch, so naturally, I have been spending inordinate amounts of time on craigslist looking for something appropriate. 

I had my eye on a teak side table for a week or so, but the guy was charging something completely ridiculous like $125.00, and since my existing teak side table was procured for $20.00, paying more that five times that for essentially the same table made my heart hurt with money pains.  So I scrapped that.

Besides, I think I’m “over-teaking” it in the loft right now.  Teak credenza, teak coffee table, teak lounge chairs, and (the $20.00) teak side table… I mean I really like teak, but it’s starting to look like someone had teak diarrhea.

So then, I thought I would try to find a vintage trunk and “carelessly place it” next to my couch, so that it looks like I’m all laid back and have a trunk, and like, just keep it as my side table, like a trunk-having badass.  But then:

  1. Nice vintage trunks are fucking expensive; and
  2. For some reason I’m convinced that all old trunks have bedbugs/earwigs/centipedes/ghosts hiding in them, and they freak me out a little bit.  Like, I’m worried that one day I’ll randomly open up my trunk and find a bunch of skulls with worms crawling out of their eyeball sockets, and I’ll hear a child’s voice whispering from the trunk with the faint, barley audible whistle of the wind, saying “yooouuu’re neeexxxt”.  Yes, I am crazy.

One of my main problems is that I always look to buy new things instead of just re-working the old stuff I bought for no reason months ago.  For example, two months ago I bought four old apple crates from UpsideDive in a frenzy because I felt I needed to have something to fill up some space in my office for my housewarming party (in retrospect, I’m pretty sure that everyone was too drunk-slash-marvelled-by-my-social-poise-and-effervescence to notice the pile of dirty old crates in the corner, but whatever).

This weekend I finally got my shit together and built a shelving system for the office (more on that later), and my poor dirty apple crates were left homeless.

DOUBLE SUPER HAPPY SOLUTION: Make one of the apple crates into a side table.

Step One
Get the apple crate, and buy four casters.  Try to simultaneously entertain small dog who refuses to leave you alone, despite seeing you occupied building fancy apple-crate side table.

Step Two
Screw the casters to the bottom of the apple crate.  I only used one screw per caster because I only had four screws that were short enough and I’m too lazy/cheap to go buy more. 

Step Three
Take arty pictures of new “apple-crate-side-table” and sit back, absorbing multiple compliments from guests who think you are like, totally creative and stylish.

Posted in Crafty Crafts, DIY, Housey Stuff, Style 5 Comments »

Idle Hands*

I seriously think I have some kind of mental disease.  I am not able to let my brain relax. 

I have to be making something.  Or fixing something. Or painting something. Or cleaning something.  Or planning the process of doing one of these things.  It’s super annoying.

So of course, even though I didn’t need to, I made some side-projects this weekend.

For some reason, I wanted to buy some vintage arrows and make some art.  So I found some vintage arrows.  And I made some art.  My arrows have real metal tips. It’s like “Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves” styles.  They probably killed things before.  No “safety nubs” for me – I don’t half-ass my arrow art.

Check out those real feathers.  They make the arrow go in certain directions.  You know how I know?  Because in the film “Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves” starring Kevin Costner and Christian Slater, they had this one scene where Kevin Costner had to shoot an arrow at some guy who was trying to chop off Christian Slater’s head with a big axe and because he needed to make the arrow do a curve-shot, he pulled off one of the tri-feather tail thingies and shot the arrow and IT WORKED.

I just used my Girl Guide string-tying skills and I tied my arrows up by wrapping butcher string around them.

BLA-BLAM.  Arrow art.  Kevin Costner would be proud.

 

I also made some neon-striped wood vases.  They are didn’t turn out as well as the arrow art.

A word to the wise – if you are going to try to paint neon stripes on something that is dark, PRIME IT first.  Because I didn’t prime it, and then I painted like sixteen coats, and it still looks like shizz.  Then I primed it and was done in 5 minutes.  But the other sixteen coats below the primer got all bumpy and goopy and then it kind of made the stripes look like shit.

ARTY PHOTO OP:

Finally, I planted some more plants in some wall-planters.  Suddenly I am a Green Grower, reborn. 

So far none of my other plants have died.  A couple of brown spots on one leaf.  I decided to rectify this problem by watering the shit out of the plant.  It will likely soon rot and die.  However – this guy appears to be happy:

So does this guy:

Plants and beer.  And neon.  And arrows.  It was a pretty good Sunday.

* Also, this.

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